|even when we feel weak...|
Friday morning I woke up mentally at my max. I had had a hard week of work and a hard week of training. When my first thought out of bed was wondering how long it would be before I could get back into my PJs...I knew I was in trouble. I am a physiotherapist and I LOVE what I do. I love people and I love helping them. But Friday morning I didn't have much left in my tank to give to anyone. My energy levels were at an all time low, and I knew that in order to fit all I needed to into the weekend (including 58K of running), I would need to NOT fit it all in. I need to draw the line somewhere.
Increasingly over the last year, I have found myself engaging more and more in social media and in digital conversations. It's easy to let constant chatter and enduring conversations hijack your day. I also engage with dozens of people every day on a very personal and sometimes deep level at work. I usually thrive on this, but by the end of this week, I needed a break. I felt like I was a negative magnet and everything else was another negative magnet and the closer life tried to get to me, the harder I pushed away. It was almost that palpable.
I knew that in order to protect my mental health and the integrity of my family unit (while getting my mileage in), I would need to shut it all off. I let those closest to me know I was going offline, and I shut my phone down for the weekend. It seemed like such a simple thing, but such a big thing too. I needed to check out and run alone...away from the city and the noise. I needed the sound of silence. I ran at very odd hours. I also knew that I would need to be very present and engaged with my family during the waking hours of the day, and with no phone to distract me, it was a lot easier. I got my 58K in, and was there to make my son his birthday brunch this morning in addition to spending the day with him. I lost some sleep, but am strangely now recharged and ready to take on the next week of training, and healing.
Five weeks until the Grand Canyon Ultra! It had better not snow this year...I need a vacation.