Reframing: Turning Excuses into Reasons Why

What a great week of running!  This was a down week for me, which meant easy shorter runs to allow my body to absorb all the training of the last few weeks and rebuild stronger for the weeks ahead.  I honestly didn't feel the need for recovery this week though - I have been feeling great and am finding my pace is picking up nicely now that the paths are dry and I'm not wearing 10 lbs of clothing with each run!

Several things have made me pause to think over the past few days. Today was the Comox Valley Half Marathon, a race that I have done many years since 2005, with the exception of the years that I was 8.9 months pregnant.  I missed being there this year, seeing familiar faces and running a very familiar route that I hold my 1/2 PR on.

CV1/2 - 2006

CV 1/2 - 2014

After my run this morning, RunKeeper told me that I had just finished my 800th run since I first started keeping track in March of 2012.  I have recorded 5, 045 miles of running since that time, and have run many more miles that I haven't recorded.  It amazes me how it all adds up over time, and it amazes me even more that I haven't gotten sick of running yet.  The more I run, the more I want to run, and the more grateful I am that I can.

When I was 15, my brother (age 13) had a tragic dirt bike accident, which left him with a complete spinal cord injury below T4, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, fractured ribs, humerus, femur, and spine.  He came very close to not making it, and had a very long recovery.  A few weeks after his accident I began try-outs for an acrobatic gymnastics team that I had dreamed about joining for most of my adolescent and teenage years. I trained hard - very hard, and after the month of try-outs was over I found out I had made the team.  Instead of celebrating, I remember feeling so very guilty.  My brother was in a hospital bed and couldn't even wiggle his big toe, and I was being given the opportunity to learn to perform in ways I had only dreamed possible.

I remember speaking with him on the phone one day in the fall of 1992.  I don't remember our exact words, but in essence I had expressed my hesitation at joining the team because I was feeling guilty that he was so sick and I was training so hard.  He told me that I should not use him as an excuse - that I should use his disability as my REASON.  I don't know if he knew the impact of his words that day, but I still draw on the strength and wisdom he exhibited during that conversation, and in the challenge that he gave me that day.  To be grateful for my physical abilities and health, and to honour them as the reason for staying active.  Now I feel shame for NOT being active regularly - because there are so many people that can't be.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

My brother and I, having fun with my Jeep (2005)

On Friday I gave a short presentation to a group of teachers about self care from a physiotherapy perspective as part of their Wellness Inservice Day activities.  During that talk, I spoke about the reasons we should take care of our physical health and exercise, as well as the reasons why we don't.  As I spoke, I realized I was turning all the reasons we brainstormed as barriers to wellness into reasons why we should take the time for self care.

Two salesmen were sent to Africa to sell shoes.  One said, "what a horrible idea, no one here wears shoes."  The other said, "what a great opportunity, no one here wears shoes!"

Do you have excuses that you can reframe to motivate you?  If you don't have energy to exercise, do it because it gives you more energy.  I am often asked how I can possibly have so much energy seeing as I run so much.  I reply that it is because I run so much that I have so much energy. If you don't have time to exercise, do it because the increased focus and concentration you gain improves efficiency which creates more time in your day.  If you have pain that makes it hard to exercise, do it in a modified way to strengthen and lengthen your body to decrease the pain.  If you are self conscious about your body, do it so that you gain self-esteem and can have pride in yourself and your accomplishments.  Even those who can't do very much often push themselves to do what they can and celebrate even the tiniest of accomplishments.  These people are my heroes.

I spend a lot of time examining my WHY. I can list dozens of reasons why I run, and these have evolved over time. But the fundamental reason, the foundation that all the others are built on, is simply that I can.  I learned very young that one should NEVER take health for granted, and to waste the gift is...a waste.

NB: My brother is now a successful financial analyst and business executive for TAQA oil in Abu Dhabi.  He has not let his disability limit his potential.  He struggles with unimaginable pain and physical challenges every single day, but he presses on, never using his disability as an excuse.  He is and will always be my biggest hero.

The Biggest Question: WHY?

Aug 2006

WHY?  It's a question that non-distance runners blurt with true amazement when considering that anyone would want to run 50+K up and down mountains for the better part of a day. It's a question that I needed to answer to my husband and to my kids to get them on board. It's a question that I needed to ask and answer of myself before I started on this journey, even if not consciously.  I heard an ultrarunner once say (maybe it was Scott Jurek?) that it's good to write those reasons down so that when you are dead tired and you feel like you want to quit, you can pull from it for motivation.  So here's my attempt to synthesize the many reasons why I've chosen the ultramarathon goal.  This was not an easy post to write.

TOP 10 Reasons Why I'm Training for an Ultra

1) I get to be alone for several hours at a time.  As a physiotherapist I interact with dozens of people every day.  As a wife and mom, someone is always asking me for something and I get so tired of talking and listening all day long.  When I run it's the only part of the day I can be alone and I need that to stay sane.

2) Weight management.  I don't need to run 50K to control my weight, but I'd be lying if staying slim wasn't part of my motivation for running.  At 37 I cannot eat what I did at 27 and get away with it, but having healthy exercise habits sure makes it easier to enjoy food without guilt! Well, most foods.

3) Healthy habits.  One simply cannot run for hours regularly while eating crap and sleeping little.  We did a cleanse for the month of January, and I am using my ultra training as motivation to continue eating whole unprocessed foods, ideally gluten-free.  I am also committed to getting more sleep.  What you fuel your body with really does play a large role and I'm embracing the need to run clean!

4) Achievement. I have a fierce need to achieve and push myself.  I know the source of this goes back to my childhood when achievement was highly valued in my family.  I don't really care where it comes from, I just need to fill that need!

5) Curiosity. I want to see what it feels like.  I want to see if I really can.  I want to see what all the fuss is about. In a twisted way I want to feel the pain and run through it.

Running with ELM 2005

6) Professional development. As a physio, I want to see what happens to the human body first hand when training at such a high volume.  I am paid for my advice, and I often work with athletes.  Some of the best lessons I've learned have not come from a book.  Making mistakes and feeling pain myself, and conversely doing things right and feeling great, offers me valuable knowledge that I can pass onto my patients.  When someone pays me for my expertise I want them to be confident that they are getting their money's worth!

7)  Less pressure.  I am a very driven person and even when you tell me to just run easy, I tend to always look at my GPS and check my pace.  A friend who ran the Squamish 50 this summer said something to me that resonated: "When you run a road marathon, the first thing people ask you is what 'what time did you finish?'  When you run a mountain ultra, the first question is, 'DID you finish?'" No one cares about your pace or even your time, at least in my league of running.  I need a break from checking my pace.

8) You get to walk! "Trek" is not a 4 letter word in ultra running.  You are allowed to walk, and even the pros do it sometimes.  Even though I have yet to run my first ultra, I already am loving the culture.  It's so much more relaxed and laid back - really it's all about pacing for the long haul.

9) Set an example.  I know I don't have to run 50K to set a good example for my kids, but a large part of my running is motivated by the desire to show my kids that fitness values are important, and can/should be maintain throughout life.

My brother and I

10) I CAN. And the top reason why I want to run an ultramarathon is because I can. Simply because it is a choice that I have.  My only sibling, my younger brother, was in an accident at age 13 that left him with a spinal cord injury paralyzed from the chest down.  He does not have that choice. Although he never talks about it, I know he would give ANYTHING to be able to wiggle his big toe, more less walk or run.  I can run. I can use my body the way God created it to be used and I feel not only a responsibility to my brother, but to my Creator to move my body and use it as it was meant to be used.  Humans were not meant to sit at desks or in cars all day long.  We were meant to walk, run, hike, dance.  My brother has accomplished so much with his disabilities.  He truly is my inspiration and my hero.  His strength inspires me to be the best I can be.  Should I ever become inactive and spend my days sitting on the couch (due to choice rather than injury), I would hope that he would look me square in the eyes and tell me, "How DARE you."