An Ultrarunner's Thoughts on the Irony of Physical Distancing and Human Behaviour

As an ultra runner, I have a lot of practice at social and physical distancing.  While I often enjoy the company of other runners on the trails and at post-run gatherings, I crave a whole lot of alone time.  Most ultra runners do as well, and if they don't, they quickly become ok with it.  The very nature of our sport conditions us to become very comfortable spending long hours alone on the trails far away from civilization and other humans. Heck, many people find ultra precisely so that they have an excuse to be alone. I am one of those people.

I get up at ungodly hours, am often the first to arrive at the trail head for a run, and jump out of my skin when another human surprises me on the trail and unknowingly interrupts my deep state of flow. Relax mom I've taken self defense.  Even when given the opportunity to run with someone, I will often chose to run alone, content with the company of me, myself and I.  I have spent years seeking out solitary places to run.  Years learning to become self-sufficient for hours on a trail. Years developing the strength to carry food, water, medication, and emergency supplies on my back for all my runs, and years training my legs to carry me far away from other people...before I must come back again.

Ultrarunning has kept my body strong.  It has kept my mind strong, and it has kept my lungs strong.  I have been seeking out solitary places to run in nature several times per week long before COVID-19 caused a world-wide pandemic and public orders requiring physical distancing were issued.

As a health care worker and a single mom during a global pandemic involving a respiratory virus, I take it all very seriously. My top priority is to reduce exposure to others while staying strong enough to fight the virus when I inevitably am exposed to it myself.  I wash my hands for the full 20 seconds, I stay 6 feet away from EVERYONE, and I suspect I've gotten mildly intoxicated from hand sanitizer absorbing through my skin.  I don't have time to be sick.  I need a strong body, I need strong lungs. And right now I need a strong mind more than anything else.  This doesn't happen passively or by accident. It happens intentionally and actively.

I awoke this morning and prepped exactly as usual, turning my car into a self contained aid station (aka no need to interact with anyone).  I packed enough food and water for myself, and stuffed my running vest with TP and extra "leave no trace" baggies (even the outhouses are closed now, but any experienced ultra runner knows what to do).  I told one person where I was going and left the house thinking, "it's a good thing I have a sport that I love that requires no gym, that allows me to be alone, and far away from anyone else.  I don't have to change a thing!"  I usually have to tell someone where I am going because if I disappear or get injured, no one would come upon me for hours if not days or years. On any other weekend morning of any other month in any other year this would be the case. Sadly, not this morning.

Runners rant coming...but this is my personal blog so there is no disclaimer

I know we are all supposed to stay at home.  I know we need to balance that with the mental and physical health of not only ourselves but others.  I know I left my house which in many ways makes me a hypocrite. That said was it wrong of me to get more than mildly irritated when I found my usual utterly vacant trailheads ironically crammed with more people than I've ever seen?  I haven't changed my routine, but everyone else seems to have done so.  They have decided it's time to get active and back to nature.  That's great.  So now I can't?  My rational mind told me that was clearly an irrational thought, but this had nothing to do with COVID and I was angry!  I actually really needed to be alone, only to find that one of the places I could always count on for that was...filled with people!!!

Ok.  Deep diaphragmatic breath.  Change the plan but never the goal...

It's a good thing I have more secret spots where no one else ever goes.  Those spots where there is no cell service and I can run for hours comfortably knowing no one will ever find me, more less come within 2 metres of me.  I managed to find one of those spots today and ran in blissful solitary peace contemplating how physical distancing requirements have created a human osmosis of sorts, drawing people out of the cities and towns and back into nature.  On one hand I think it's awesome that parents are getting their families outside and finding safe places for them to do so.  Fresh air and exercise are powerful medicine that will keep us strong while awaiting a cure or a vaccine for COVID-19.  However, there is still a piece of me that resents the sudden intrusion of the masses into the sanctuary of quiet stillness that I've treasured for decades.  In this time of exponential change, I was hoping I'd
at least still have that.

And so ironically those of us who have a sport that physically distances us are finding it harder to do even that.

"It's the good advice that you just can't take." Alanis Morissette

None of us are immune to the changes in our society and it is what it is.  I guess I'm just going through the grieving process like everyone else.  You can criticize me for leaving my house, but for now I will keep running. I will try my very best to be alone, not because I'm told to but because I need to (or I will go bat shit crazy.)  I may have to get up even earlier and run a little longer into the bush to take the trail less travelled, but I will run for my health, and I will run with gratitude.  Gratitude that I can still run on the trails because I am well aware that what I describe here is the rationale used for closing our parks.  Gratitude that I have strong lungs and that it's spring.  Gratitude that I am a trail runner and don't need a gym, treadmill or paved path for my workout.   Gratitude I live in a province with a very low incidence of COVID-19, a population density of 2 people/square km and a whole lot of open space. Yes, I'm finally grateful to live in Manitoba.

Ultra running has trained me in many ways to cope with this pandemic.  It has given me mental as well as physical endurance.  Ultra has trained me to be ok with being alone, and it has given me serious perspective. Mantras pop in my head every day now with new double meanings, no longer reserved for the running context.

Nothing lasts forever.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
Pay now or pay later.
Trust the process.
Deal with the little things now before they become big things.
Don't catastrophize the unexpected.
Change the plan but never the goal.
Just keep going.  (but)
Sometimes it takes more strength to stop than to keep going.
It's not a sprint, it's a marathon.  Pace yourself.

I could write many more blog posts on the duality of meaning hidden in those mantras and the parallelism between managing global pandemics and running ultras, but the ultra runners who make up the vast majority of my audience already know.  Don't you?

Good luck finding places to run alone.  Be well my friends.

Running Free 1::3

After a long (really long) winter and hiatus from writing, I'm back!!! If you couldn't tell from my last few posts, I've been through some serious life stress in the past 6 months.  But I continued to dream, to plan, to train, to run.  Quite frankly besides my faith, running has been the only thing in my life keeping me sane, and the only thing I can control.  My runs have provided me with a place to meditate, to pray, to grieve, to battle, to cry, to escape, to analyze, to process, to celebrate, to accept and to surrender. My runs have been my safe, predicable place, but with the threat of severe allergic reactions looming around every corner I initially stressed and felt threatened as I ran too..until I had to surrender even my running to chance and to the belief that God and the universe don't want me dead yet.

I continued to train with mindful intention, adopting many biohacking strategies, but mostly on intuition.  After 6 seasons of ultra running and 20 years of consistent training I've become a chef rather than a cook in the kitchen, often following a "napkin plan." I hoped that my relaxed recipe for success would turn out well...

Which brings me to the first race of my 2019 race season: Oxbow 50K in Spruce Woods Provincial Park, MB, Canada. This was the first race in my build up to Tahoe Rim 100 in July, my second 100 miler attempt and one I plan to enjoy more than the Zion 100 in 2017.  I was planning some long runs in May and I decided to throw a few 50K races into the plan since I'd be running long anyways.  When you want to go fast go alone, when you want to go far go together right?  Bring on the 50K party in the forest with my running tribe!!

So...the night before Oxbow I didn't look at the map until 9:00pm. I didn't have a race plan.  I put the kids to bed, threw a few things in a bag, set the coffee maker for 5:00am and went to bed.  I wouldn't recommend this for a novice ultra runner but I was planning on throwing some ingredients in a pot and content to see how the soup turned out.  I was confident and curious to see how my training had been going - this would be a  good test.

HOLY COW.  I've been racing 50K's for 6 seasons and always struggled to crack the 6 hour mark.  I've chipped away a few minutes here or there, largely dependent on how much climbing and gain there is in the course, but I haven't made any huge changes in my PR time in 6 years despite training really hard.

At Oxbow I knocked 36 MINUTES off my PR good enough for a F3/overall 20th finish in a race where the woman who won was F11 at Western States.  In any race under 100 miles 36 minutes is a HUGE jump for an experienced runner.  And to top it off, the next morning I felt AMAZING and did a 20K shakeout run to analyze WHY?  What the heck happened?

I have been more stressed, more fatigued, and less focused during this season than during any other.  I shouldn't be running well, it just doesn't make sense. Why am I finding myself feeling light, strong and powerful while running with (almost) endless energy to spare? As my legs and my mind woke up about 6 miles into my shakeout run, I came to a simple conclusion:

I was running lighter and cleaner in every way.

This was happening chiefly in two ways: physically and mentally/emotionally/spiritually.  Physically as much as I resented and resisted my anaphylactic reactions during running, they were the catalyst to drive me to change my diet. I have been gluten/dairy/egg free for 6 months and have never felt better. See my next post for more details on what I think is the largest factor in my recent improvement in performance.

Mentally, emotionally and spiritually I have also shed some serious baggage and genuinely let it go - surrendered to the path the universe and God have for me.  This has been the most liberating thing in the world and I know it's a factor in my performance.  The body and the mind are so connected and when you start to guard your energy from flowing out to the wrong places and open the floodgates to the energy of the universe flowing in, great things can happen.  See this post for more thoughts on this. (coming soon)

For now I am very very happy, celebrating that my training is on point, confident in my plans for the next training block, and excited to see what the future holds for me.  Bring it on!

Bounce Strong,
Kim

CONTROL-ALT-DELETE: North by Scott & Jenny Jurek

Few people captivate me as Scott Jurek does. Few books hold my attention like his do. Six years ago, the year before I ran my first ultra, I read Born to Run by Christopher McDougall and then immediately moved on to Eat & Run by Scott Jurek.  While Christopher piqued my interest in the sport,  I planted my roots firmly in ultra trail soil with wisdom and inspiration from Scott "Jerker" Jurek. He is a running legend who is considered one of the greatest ultra runners of all time, winning many of the sport's most prestigious races multiple times, including winning the Western States 100 seven years in a row. It has been almost a decade since he retired from racing.

Sunday morning I woke well before dawn for my last long run before the Superior 50K.  I was feeling appropriately exhausted after a hard training block and needed a mental boost.  A quick search for a good book produced newly published, North.  I felt my pulse quicken, immediately hit download and tapped play as I headed out to the trail head.

North is a book written by Scott and Jenny Jurek about their successful FKT (fastest known time) attempt on the Appalachian Trail in 2015.  Scott completed the 2189 mile trail in 46 days, 8 hours and 7 min.  It was the first time someone snagged the FKT heading north.  This book is about finding direction when you've lost it - about trusting and following your internal compass even when it leads you to places you aren't sure you want to go. It is a book about coming face to face with your humanity for 46 days, about both suffering and finding peace and contentment, and just a little about midlife crisis.

I experienced this book in audio format, most fitting and convenient for a person who spends hours on the trails.  Although I have since downloaded the print version for reference, I truly believe hearing the voices of Scott and Jenny narrate their book makes it that much more poignant and meaningful.  I constantly have an audiobook or podcast on, and in doing so let a lot of people into my head.  In North, Scott immediately draws you deeply into his headspace with a crystalline sense of self-awareness that can only come after a 25 year running career such that he has had and 46 days of nearly constant running.  His introspective, honest description of his experience on the trail and the people whom he shared it with make you wonder if he should have pursued a degree in philosophy rather than physical therapy.

The only way to review a book this powerful is to share some of my favorite quotes.  As I ran my Sunday morning away, these are some of the parts of the book that burned themselves into my flowing mind.

On Luis Escobar:
"El Coyote had the ability to laugh when he wanted to cry, the secret to longevity in ultra running."

On a through hiker who criticized Scott's irreverent treatment of the trail by going too fast:
"Would he have understood if I had told him that, though man's soul finds solace in natural beauty, it is forged in the fire of pain?"

On pain after 7 days on the trail:
"...I was beginning to realize that there were two types of pain.  There was the kind that I'd known for decades: the catalyzing kind, the pain that's fierce and angry, that kicks you in the ribs as you're scrambling forward and slaps you across the face as you get to your feet. The kind that starts screaming at you as you approach the impossible - and makes you want to scream back. The pain that fills you up. It weighs on you.  It makes you big.

And then there's the pain that does the opposite.

This pain was taking from me.  It was emptying. I felt like I was leaving pieces of myself on the trail. I was disintegrating.  Very simply, I was failing, fast."

On his regret for neglecting to work on his why in preparation for the AT:

"You rarely ask why when you win. It's a word you can outrun and outperform. Applause makes it hard to hear yourself. But just because you ignore it, doesn't mean it's not there. And why doesn't get old and tired. It catches up, and it gets louder. It churns up thoughts that are best kept down in the dark."

Scott's mantras:
Sometimes you just do things.
This is what you came for.
I'm tough, I'm tough, I'm tough. ~ Lynn Jurek

David "Horty" Horton's motivational mantras:
This is who I am.  This is what I do.
It never always gets worse.
I love the fight, and when things are easy, I hate it. ~Ernest Shackleton

Over and over again Scott describes the people and the places he encounters along the Appalachian Trail with paradoxical adjectives that only serve to compliment rather than conflict.  Although it's possible, I don't believe he does this intentionally. His perspective is one that is unfiltered, intuitive, and in perfect harmony with other elemental concepts such as yin & yang,  and Newton's third law of physics (every action...)

If Born to Run and Eat & Run were for the young, energetic, the focused and the driven, then North is for those who have been at the peak and who have lost their direction.  It's for those who have found their why is catching up and getting louder.  It's about one man's journey to redefine himself, to reconnect with himself, to get to know himself as he is now.  It's about suffering and the uniquely crazy human need to suffer in order to become more...human?  And it's a beautiful love story about two people who are both complementary and contrasting, who summate to accomplish great things...each one sometimes the shadow and sometimes the light.  This book was their masterpiece.

You may not be an ultrarunner or an endurance athlete, but if you need a control-alt-delete and are not sure where to begin, start with reading North.  Then grab your inner compass, point it in the direction that your soul tells you to,  repeat

This is who I am.  This is what I do.

and start moving.  You'll figure it out on the way.

To Thine Own Self Be True: 2018 Plans

The Christmas decorations are packed up, the kids are back in school, and Training Peaks is sending me notifications.  It's mid January in Winnipeg, and I am solidly back in training mode for my first race of the season.  It's coming up quickly on February 4th, the inaugural  Frozen Falcon 8-Hour Endurance Run.  A timed looped course race in the dead of central Canadian winter would NOT normally interest me in the least.  I have never run that long in potentially dangerously cold temperatures.  The idea of doing such a thing honestly scares the hell out of me - so of course I must do it!

Over the past few weeks as I re-examined and clarified my WHY for running and racing, a few key drivers emerged:

1) To explore

2) To spend time in the mountains

3) To be challenged

4) To honor, maximize, and preserve my health

5) To be a part of my running community

I could list many many more reasons why I run, but these drivers are broad enough to encompass many of them.  Last year took a lot of out me.  I started the year recovering from a stress fracture in my foot.  I ran my first 100 miler in April after which I struggled with mental and adrenal fatigue.  When I finally felt recovered enough to race again in August, I badly tore a hamstring at the top of a mountain early in the race.  Following the best racing year of my life in 2016, last year was a year in which the energy flowed out but rarely in, and my body was showing the signs of the stress.

Last fall I wasn't sure if I wanted to run another 100-miler, but I signed up for Sinister 7 to hold a spot.  The Western States lottery came and went, with the dice not rolling my favour this year.  I honestly wasn't too disappointed, because I know that if I am to do another 100-miler I need to do it very differently and I need time to become a better runner in order to do that.

Late summer and early fall, I struggled with maintaining my training mojo as I rehab'd my hamstring and even after a few months of relatively low mileage and a Mexican beach vacation, I was still not very motivated to run.  Laying in a hammock on the beach on New Year's Eve, I decided that what I really need this year is a rebuilding year.  Racing has never been a big motivation for me, and I realized that I needed to give myself permission to protect my energy, say no to things I don't REALLY want to do, and stay true to my running purpose.  It's so easy to get caught up in the FOMO, and I committed to stay true to myself.

Frozen Falcon 8-Hour Endurance Run - Feb 4

Exploration, Challenge, Community

As aforementioned, this race scares me which means it provides a challenge.  I am very new to running in the hostile winter temperatures of Manitoba (-30 to -40C) and I honestly don't know if I can do it for 8 hours.  A looped course offers the safety of a warm place in case of emergency and the challenge of a temptingly easy place to spend WAY too much time.  Or even quit. My mind will be my biggest foe.

Everyone in our community knows that ultra runners are simply the coolest people around and it's fun to spend time with them!  This is the first ultra-race that my friend Joel is RD'ing in our local community and I just simply couldn't miss it. I've only been to Falcon Lake once, but the area really impressed me.  It's beautiful there, and if there is a place I can see myself running in circles for 8 hours in Manitoba, Falcon Lake is it.

Summertime at Falcon Lake

Superior 50K (lottery entered) - May 19

Exploration, Challenge, Maximize Health

I've never been to Lutsen, Minnesota and I've heard so much about how awesome the Superior races are, so I figured it was time to check the area out.  I may be tempted by the Superior 100 at some point, but I really want to stay healthy and injury free this year so I chose the shorter spring event. I know I can run 50K without injury or prolonged recovery, so it is time to fine tune and get faster at 50K!

Canadian Death Race (125K) - Aug 3-4

Exploration, Mountains, Challenge

This race was the first ultra I had ever heard about, back in 2003.  I seriously could not believe that races like that existed, more less that there were people who ran them.  It has always held some allure for me, and I think this is the year I will become a death racer.  It is also a WS and UTMB qualifier.  Check and check.

Although I am from Alberta, I have never been to Grand Cache, and of course have never travelled 125K over 3 mountain peaks on foot in that location!  I can't wait to explore totally new territory relatively close to home.

Banff/Canmore Self-Guided Training Camp - July

Exploration, Mountains, Challenge, Maximize Health, Community

Sinister 7 is only 4 weeks before CDR which doesn't allow much recovery time.  In addition, I know that if you aren't 110% committed to running a 100-miler then it's over before you even begin.   So I decided to scrap that idea in favour of running for a week with my dear friend Sarah, timing it to peak for CDR.  I started this ultra-running journey with Sarah and every year we travel to a bucket list race.  This year our schedules and goals didn't coordinate for any races, but spending a week running in the mountains with her totally a la carte is even better.

Although Sinister 7 would cover 100 miles of mountain terrain, many hours would be in the dark and in a less than clear mental state in which I would miss much of what I came to see.  Our goal will be to log a 100 mile week with loads of climbing at high altitude, in the daylight with many options for epic summit pictures, the opportunity to explore several different trails in my favourite part of Alberta, all while racking up some serious girlfriend time.  I asked Sarah to officially coach me this year, and I trust her to get my legs and lungs ready for CDR!  (She finished sub 20 hours in 2011 - 7th female, 3rd AG).  Even a coach needs a coach.

I think I'm honestly looking forward to this week more than CDR.

So that's all I have planned.  I think it's enough.  I may throw in some shorter races here and there, but I must remember I am a full time working mom and wife with others who expect and deserve my energy and my best me.

This blog started as a way to share my journey into the world of ultra.  This post is part of that,  largely personal...a way for me to sort and clarify my thoughts and hopefully inspire others as they journey along this path with me.

As you run along the ribbon of single track that leads you from race to race this season, remember your purpose.  Stay true to yourself, and let that energy flow back into you as much as it flows out.

Happy trails!

Your Inner Coach

Several months ago I launched my www.bouncestrong.com website which included a run coaching component.  Since then I have struggled to define what I can offer as a coach, and a description was to why one would benefit from hiring a running coach.  I know why I value a coach, and I know what I hope to offer as a coach, but I couldn't really define what a coach can do for you until today.  And it didn't come from me.

Today I receive this email from one of my coaching clients.  I have been coaching him for just under 2 months.  These are his words.  They humble me and make me want to do the happy dance all at the same time!

"Feeling stiff from my first “real” hill workout two days ago, I let out an "old man groan" as I eased my 42 year old frame into my desk chair. I wanted to take one last look at week 7 of my training plan. This was going to be brutal! The plan called for intervals. The memory of last week’s near-puking effort was haunting.


"I set the treadmill (you can’t cheat on a treadmill) to 7 mph for a 10 minute warmup and tried to relax. My legs burned. Not good! All too soon, 10 minutes flashed on the display and I punched in 10.1 mph for my first 5 minute interval. Almost instantly I felt a cramp in my right hamstring. It worked itself out but I stressed over keeping this up. My legs were churning as fast as they could go and I was already feeling exhaustion setting in. I thought back to a recent relay race and pictured the high schoolers running effortlessly as they passed me. Their legs were fast but not faster than mine. I remember marvelling at how their feet barely kissed the ground, as if they were flying. But HOW? What was I missing?

"Then it hit me - upside the head like Al Capone with a baseball bat. It had been staring me in the face for two months since hiring Kim. It was front and center on her webpage and in the signature of every email. BOUNCE STRONG! If my legs couldn’t swing faster, I would have to go farther with each stride. I needed to engage those muscles I’d been punishing for the last two months. I needed to bounce stronger! I intentionally relaxed my cadence a bit and focused on pushing harder, engaging my calves, quads, glutes and any other muscles willing to join in. Almost instantly I felt a hint of relaxation. It didn’t get easy but at least it felt possible.

"I bounced, and it became my mantra for the rest of the workout. My legs burned, my eyes stung with sweat, my lungs choked in every last molecule of oxygen, but I focused on bouncing strong. Finally, as I mashed the number 7 for my cool down, that familiar but elusive feeling washed over me... the runner’s high! On tired legs I had achieved one more seemingly impossible goal and I felt absolutely amazing!

"Two months ago when I hired Kim I told her one of my goals for the year was to achieve a sub 20 minute 5k. Within my interval workout today was a 5k time of 19 minutes, 20 seconds and a 10k time of 39 minutes, 54 seconds. That’s TWO 20 minute 5k runs back to back in the same workout! Talk about crushing a goal!

"People often wonder, “at what point do you call yourself a runner”. I’ve been running for 4 years, but I’ll always remember today - on the treadmill no less - as the day I became a runner. I found that one crucial piece of the puzzle. Today I bounced strong and I couldn’t have done it without my amazing coach, Kim."

Sometimes a coach feeds you gruelling workouts.  Sometime a coach asks you to do things that are hard, and sometimes a coach sends you inspirational mantras and Friday night videos while telling you to rest.  Often a coach can simply be the loudest voice in your head - that doesn’t let you stop, that doesn’t take excuses, that gives you permission to exhibit the greatness that exists within yourself, the awesomeness that you are afraid to show.

A coach can be someone you hire, or it can simply be the best friend that you run with every weekend.  It can be that elite runner you follow on social media or it can be that terminally ill relative that just keeps going despite the odds, who puts things into perspective.  

This weekend as you run, let the voice of all your coaches lift you up, get your feet moving, and help you to believe that all things are possible if you work hard and believe in yourself. 

Because they are.

BOUNCE STRONG MY FRIENDS

VO2 Max and Lactate Threshold Testing

Last week I had my first VO2 max and blood lactate testing done at the Pan Am Clinic where I work.  I was so excited. Despite being able to do field tests and now having a ridiculously complex and expensive Garmin that predicts such numbers from heart rate and running data, blood lactate testing and actual VO2 max testing is still considered more accurate and the gold standard of measure for aerobic fitness. So I booked myself in!

I have some big goals for 2016 and although it's getting late in the season to be having such testing done, I really wanted a snapshot of my current aerobic fitness profile in order to train more specifically throughout the rest of the year.

What is VO2 max?  It is a value given to the maximal rate at which oxygen can be taken in, transported and utilized by working muscle.  The higher your VO2 max, the better is your ability to use oxygen during muscular work.  It is often expressed in the relative score (ml/kg/min).  This is important for athletes that must move their bodies against the force of gravity (runner, X-C skiers) and for comparing individuals of different body sizes.  The absolute (L/min) value is important for sports where body weight is supported (cycling, rowing) and is a value that is only meaningful to the individual - there is no point comparing this number to others.

Here is one example of a normative data chart.  There are many and they all vary slightly.

Here is another one:

Elite runners and athletes are reported to have VO2 max values in the 70s and 80s.  The world record is reportedly held by a cyclist from Noway named Oskar Svendsen (97.5).  There is debate as to how relevant VO2 max really is in predicting performance, as athletes with lesser scores can beat those with higher scores.  Hence the whole mind over matter debate...which is best saved for another post.


Lactate threshold (LT) is used to signify your anaerobic threshold which is the shift from the energy supply primarily from aerobic to anaerobic.  Blood lactate is a measure of the lactic acid that appears in the blood as a result of anaerobic metabolism when oxygen delivery to the tissues is insufficient to support normal metabolic demands. LT is indicated by the sudden rise in the lactate when the anaerobic energy system (without oxygen) becomes the primary contributor to exercise.
Athletes all want to stay out of the anaerobic zone as much as possible and having a high LT enables them to perform to a higher level without those dreaded burnings legs. Here is a great article on LT.

Here are some pictures of my testing:

Nose clamped, breathing into a tube, heart rate monitor on

It was hard to see where I was on the treadmill with all that gear - I kept bumping into the front

This is how the test worked: After I had changed and put on the heart rate monitor, I warmed up on the treadmill at a very easy pace for 15 min.  This allowed my heart rate to stabilize, as it spikes all over the place during the first 10-15 min of any run.  Then I put on the head gear, clamped my nose shut, sealed my lips around the mouth piece, and hopped back on the treadmill.  Dean pricked my finger and took a blood sample (in the same way as a diabetic will do a blood sugar test) to determine my baseline blood lactate.  Then I started running on the treadmill.  Every 3 minutes I hopped to the side to allow Dean to take another blood sample.  Then Richard bumped the speed up by 0.5 mph and I ran for another 3 min.  We repeated this cycle several times, while Dean monitored all sorts of information on his computer and reported the blood lactate levels to Richard.  We started at 5.5 mph and by the time we reached 8.0 mph I was starting to wonder when this test would be over.  After running at 8.5 mph for 3 min, my blood lactate finally jumped from the low 3 mmol/L to 4.8 mmol/L (if my memory is correct).  At this point, we had our LT reading, but I still needed my VO2 max scores.  Richard then started to increase the incline on the treadmill by 2% grade every minute, while I was still running at 8.5mph.  It didn't take me long, and after 2 min I called it quits at 4% grade. I'm not sure if I could have gone more, but I thought I was maxed at the time.

Richard and Dean

The whole test took about 45 min on the treadmill, and I had my results within another 15 min.  Dean and Richard were amazing and very good at explaining the whole process and interpreting my results.  I have debated as to whether I should share my results publicly, but I'm no elite athlete and this is a form of journal for me, so I will use my real numbers to help explain what it all means.

Absolute VO2 max: 3.4 L/min
Relative VO2 max: 53.1 ml/kg/min
Maximum heart rate: 184 bpm
Lactate threshold: 3.1 L/min
HR at LT: 172 bpm
LT as a % of VO2 max: 91%

Interestingly, Dean asked me what I thought my LT was before he told me.  He said that people who regularly monitor their HR can usually tell when they reach it just by the burn in their legs.  I told him 170-173 bpm.  I was bang on.  So what do these numbers mean to me?  Having a high LT as a % of VO2 max means that I can run almost to my max before my body shifts to anaerobic metabolism.  It could be better though, and my coach, Sarah Seads, suggests that I work on bringing my LT up to 95% of my VO2 max before I try to up my VO2 max.  How is all this done?  By using these numbers to determine your five training zones, which can done with online calculators, or by an experienced coach or exercise physiologist (Dean gave me my zones during my session).  Knowing your specific heart rate zones can help you train more intelligently and keep your easy runs truly easy, and your tempo or speed workouts truly effective.

Now, we'll see if all this knowledge pays off for me. Ultimately, it's up to me now to apply this information to my training.  Thanks Dean and Richard for a great testing experience!

Reframing: Turning Excuses into Reasons Why

What a great week of running!  This was a down week for me, which meant easy shorter runs to allow my body to absorb all the training of the last few weeks and rebuild stronger for the weeks ahead.  I honestly didn't feel the need for recovery this week though - I have been feeling great and am finding my pace is picking up nicely now that the paths are dry and I'm not wearing 10 lbs of clothing with each run!

Several things have made me pause to think over the past few days. Today was the Comox Valley Half Marathon, a race that I have done many years since 2005, with the exception of the years that I was 8.9 months pregnant.  I missed being there this year, seeing familiar faces and running a very familiar route that I hold my 1/2 PR on.

CV1/2 - 2006

CV 1/2 - 2014

After my run this morning, RunKeeper told me that I had just finished my 800th run since I first started keeping track in March of 2012.  I have recorded 5, 045 miles of running since that time, and have run many more miles that I haven't recorded.  It amazes me how it all adds up over time, and it amazes me even more that I haven't gotten sick of running yet.  The more I run, the more I want to run, and the more grateful I am that I can.

When I was 15, my brother (age 13) had a tragic dirt bike accident, which left him with a complete spinal cord injury below T4, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, fractured ribs, humerus, femur, and spine.  He came very close to not making it, and had a very long recovery.  A few weeks after his accident I began try-outs for an acrobatic gymnastics team that I had dreamed about joining for most of my adolescent and teenage years. I trained hard - very hard, and after the month of try-outs was over I found out I had made the team.  Instead of celebrating, I remember feeling so very guilty.  My brother was in a hospital bed and couldn't even wiggle his big toe, and I was being given the opportunity to learn to perform in ways I had only dreamed possible.

I remember speaking with him on the phone one day in the fall of 1992.  I don't remember our exact words, but in essence I had expressed my hesitation at joining the team because I was feeling guilty that he was so sick and I was training so hard.  He told me that I should not use him as an excuse - that I should use his disability as my REASON.  I don't know if he knew the impact of his words that day, but I still draw on the strength and wisdom he exhibited during that conversation, and in the challenge that he gave me that day.  To be grateful for my physical abilities and health, and to honour them as the reason for staying active.  Now I feel shame for NOT being active regularly - because there are so many people that can't be.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

My brother and I, having fun with my Jeep (2005)

On Friday I gave a short presentation to a group of teachers about self care from a physiotherapy perspective as part of their Wellness Inservice Day activities.  During that talk, I spoke about the reasons we should take care of our physical health and exercise, as well as the reasons why we don't.  As I spoke, I realized I was turning all the reasons we brainstormed as barriers to wellness into reasons why we should take the time for self care.

Two salesmen were sent to Africa to sell shoes.  One said, "what a horrible idea, no one here wears shoes."  The other said, "what a great opportunity, no one here wears shoes!"

Do you have excuses that you can reframe to motivate you?  If you don't have energy to exercise, do it because it gives you more energy.  I am often asked how I can possibly have so much energy seeing as I run so much.  I reply that it is because I run so much that I have so much energy. If you don't have time to exercise, do it because the increased focus and concentration you gain improves efficiency which creates more time in your day.  If you have pain that makes it hard to exercise, do it in a modified way to strengthen and lengthen your body to decrease the pain.  If you are self conscious about your body, do it so that you gain self-esteem and can have pride in yourself and your accomplishments.  Even those who can't do very much often push themselves to do what they can and celebrate even the tiniest of accomplishments.  These people are my heroes.

I spend a lot of time examining my WHY. I can list dozens of reasons why I run, and these have evolved over time. But the fundamental reason, the foundation that all the others are built on, is simply that I can.  I learned very young that one should NEVER take health for granted, and to waste the gift is...a waste.

NB: My brother is now a successful financial analyst and business executive for TAQA oil in Abu Dhabi.  He has not let his disability limit his potential.  He struggles with unimaginable pain and physical challenges every single day, but he presses on, never using his disability as an excuse.  He is and will always be my biggest hero.

Not Always Unicorns and Rainbows

I was looking forward to today all week. as it was forecasted to really warm up. I am very ready for spring, as it has usually already arrived by now on Vancouver Island, where I've spent the last 15 years.  March means short sleeve runs and salt tabs, sometimes rain, but temps between 10C and 15C.  Here in Manitoba...not yet.

After freezing my buns off running earlier this week, I went to bed last night battling a sore throat.  I prayed that I would wake a new person.  Instead I woke to the sounds of my husband vomiting and dry heaving in the bathroom all night long.  My kids have been ok, but complaining of no appetite and belly aches, so when my alarm when off at 6:00am this morning, I questioned the soundness of my judgement in running today.  But running Sunday mornings is never an option - it's a part of  life. So I got up, tiptoed around making coffee and drinking water and UCan.  My tummy rumbled, but I told myself it was psychosomatic.  My throat was sore...but no one ever died of a sore throat.

I made breakfast for the kids and left a lovely arrangement of fruit and cereal on the breakfast bar.  I decided I would race out to the trail, run as fast and efficiently as I could, and hopefully be home before anyone else got sick, including myself.  Before I left the house, I told my husband in his feverish state that he could call or text anytime and then proceeded to escape his germs, feeling equally relieved at the chance to get some fresh air, and intensely guilty for leaving the kids to fend for themselves with a very sick papa.

I got to the trail head just after 7:00am.  I was the first one there.  It was quiet, warm and peaceful.  I quickly adjusted my clothing for the 1C temps and took off on my 33K run.  It was so mild.  The sun came up, I said good morning to "my" deer that I always see 2-3.5K into the run.  But my legs felt heavy and so did my heart.  I waited with dread for that text that one of my children was sick, or that my husband wasn't coping so well.

What was I out here for?  I felt like a really sh*&tty mom, and an even worse wife.  I know I needed to log the miles.  But did I have my priorities in check?  Earlier this week, my boss sent me a quote, "Running because it makes me a better version of myself," and then later I posted on FB, "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own."  Hmmm.  I slogged around the Bur Oak trail in the morning sun/deep snow questioning my WHY.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't help but wonder...  Was my running making me a better person?  Did my running set a good example to my kids?  Were my running priorities balanced with my family priorities?  Fundamentally I could say yes.  I really strive to make sure my personal running goals don't take away from family time, often getting up REALLY early to get my runs in. I never want my kids or my husband to resent my running.  And I can proudly say that my son loves to run with mommy.   But today....I sure felt like I was failing them all by leaving my kids with a sick husband while I left the house for 5 hours.

So I ran as hard as I could...which wasn't fast considering I wasn't feeling so well myself.  I waved hello at friends on the trail, not stopping to chat lest I lose my resolve to complete the miles, or even worse - start vomiting on the trail myself.  I spent our first sunny spring-like run day running with a "lets go to work and get this done" mentally.  What a shame!

I just finished the book, Out There, by Dave Clark.  In his book, he truly opens himself up and exposes his very intense personal struggles with addiction and then his recovery through ultra marathon running. I'm posting this today to put myself 'out there'...to once again highlight that ultra running is not always unicorns and rainbows, as my friend Sarah says. It can be hard! Sometimes it's a slog in heinous weather, through gnarly terrain, or done while battling indigestion and tummy upset.  And sometimes our training happens in perfectly sunny spring-like conditions in which everyone else is celebrating - but the mind and the conscience become the battleground.

I am happy to say I finished my run, and made it home in time to spend an awesome afternoon with my kids while my husband recovered.  Today, the rainbows came after the run.

Race Plans for 2016

In the 6 weeks since my last post, a few things have happened.  I've signed up for a few races, and winter decided to finally arrive for real in southern Manitoba.  Both things have brought out a little crazy in me.

Starting with the races, 2016 is going to be epic.  My best running year yet.  Two races on the calendar, both equally exciting and challenging.  Training for both to be done in a FLAT place.  I like a challenge.

1. Grand Canyon Ultra 50 Miler - May 21, 2016
I am so stoked to be heading to the Grand Canyon as it's a place I've wanted to visit for years, and the best way to see it is up close and personal.  Even better, my bestest running bud Sarah will be coming with me.  When I left Vancouver Island last summer, we made a pact that we would meet up for one race a year, and this was the race we chose for 2016.  I can't imagine a better way to see the GC than on foot, supported with food all along the way, emergency medical aid available, and travelling super light.  I plan to take many many pictures and savour the whole day.  A day or two in Vegas afterwards with Sarah won't be too hard to handle either!

That's going to be me in May!!!

2. Fat Dog 70 Miler - August 12-14, 2016
Since moving to Manitoba, I have made some really great running friends.  Somehow I stumbled upon Todd and Scott, a couple of amazing athletes and solid humans.  Scott had Fat Dog on his bucket list of races and decided this was the year to do 120 miles.  He convinced Todd to come with him, and when I heard about them going to BC to race, I joked that I couldn't let them go without me.  This led to an official invitation to join them, so I found myself setting my alarm for 2am Dec 15 to get up to register for the race.  And the Manitoba Dawgs were formed.

Just breathe...

I definitely am not up for 120 miles, but I do have a goal to do a 100 miler in 2017 (when I may or may not be turning a crucial age). So doing a 70 miler this year seems like the next logical next step.  And again, I am fuelled by gorgeous vistas, the smell of an evergreen forest, gnarly trails and long climbs.  I simply cannot wait to show the guys some BC mountains - up close and deeply personal.

Training for and and running an ultra marathon can easily become an all-consuming and frankly, selfish, endeavour.  Todd suggested that we give back and use our run to support a good cause.  We decided that we will be fundraising for Cancer Care Manitoba as we train to run a total of 310 miles combined.  Why?  Let's face it - who hasn't been touched by cancer?  We are in the process of registering with the organization, but please stay tuned with how you can donate to support Cancer Care.

I also plan to do a few shorter races, including the Spruce Woods Ultra as part of my taper for Grand Canyon, and if I'm not totally wrecked after Fat Dog, I plan to do the Lemming Loop again in October.

We are 1.5 weeks into January and I'm into my second week of my 20 week GC training cycle. It's winter in Manitoba.  Check out the rest of the story in my next post: Winter Training.

Scouting Spruce Woods

Today I ventured outside Winnipeg for the first time to run & explore Spruce Woods Provincial Park.  We drove 2 hours, ran for 5.5 hours (with some breaks) and drove 2 more hours home.  Welcome to trail running in Manitoba!  The Spruce Woods Ultra happens May 6-7, 2016 and before I solidify my 2016 race plans, I thought I should scout out the place.

A few trail runners that I met at the Lemming Loop lived up to the reputation that many trail runners have - kind, generous, laid-back.  Todd and Maria graciously picked me up at 6:00am and drove me out to the park to meet several other "Turtles" there to run in the cool rainy morning.

Todd and the Turtles (aka Charlie & his angels)

A quote from the race website: " The Spruce Woods Ultra race is unlike any other event in the province. First, it’s tough. Although it’s a run in the park, it is unlike any other run in the park you’ve seen in Manitoba."  As we drove along Hwy 1 heading west of Portage la Prairie, I gazed out at the FLAT land and wondered how hard this run was really going to be.  I was told, "you have no idea what you are in for."

I found evergreen trees in Manitoba!

Well, they were right.  I was very surprised to find myself running up and down and up and down...over and over again.  It was an unrelenting series of short flats, 20 high cadence paces up, 5 long strides down, repeat.  Sometimes no flats in between.  All those short ups and downs started to take a toll about 20K into our 40K run.  I couldn't just lock into a pace and slug up a hill, nor could I relax and squeal with delight as I flew down a hill (except in one place).  Changing speeds and cadence continually was demanding.  We managed to log almost 2000' of gain over the 40K.  No west coast profile, but nice!

I have to give a shout out to Todd and Maria who both ran 10-15 miles more than they would have had I not been there - simply to ensure that I got what I came for and got a good look at the park.  You guys rock!  Now I know what type of run I'll be in for if I sign up for the Spruce Woods Ultra.  And how much recovery time to allow before the next race.  This one will demand respect.  Thanks for the great time everyone.  Always good running with you!