Running Free 1::3

After a long (really long) winter and hiatus from writing, I'm back!!! If you couldn't tell from my last few posts, I've been through some serious life stress in the past 6 months.  But I continued to dream, to plan, to train, to run.  Quite frankly besides my faith, running has been the only thing in my life keeping me sane, and the only thing I can control.  My runs have provided me with a place to meditate, to pray, to grieve, to battle, to cry, to escape, to analyze, to process, to celebrate, to accept and to surrender. My runs have been my safe, predicable place, but with the threat of severe allergic reactions looming around every corner I initially stressed and felt threatened as I ran too..until I had to surrender even my running to chance and to the belief that God and the universe don't want me dead yet.

I continued to train with mindful intention, adopting many biohacking strategies, but mostly on intuition.  After 6 seasons of ultra running and 20 years of consistent training I've become a chef rather than a cook in the kitchen, often following a "napkin plan." I hoped that my relaxed recipe for success would turn out well...

Which brings me to the first race of my 2019 race season: Oxbow 50K in Spruce Woods Provincial Park, MB, Canada. This was the first race in my build up to Tahoe Rim 100 in July, my second 100 miler attempt and one I plan to enjoy more than the Zion 100 in 2017.  I was planning some long runs in May and I decided to throw a few 50K races into the plan since I'd be running long anyways.  When you want to go fast go alone, when you want to go far go together right?  Bring on the 50K party in the forest with my running tribe!!

So...the night before Oxbow I didn't look at the map until 9:00pm. I didn't have a race plan.  I put the kids to bed, threw a few things in a bag, set the coffee maker for 5:00am and went to bed.  I wouldn't recommend this for a novice ultra runner but I was planning on throwing some ingredients in a pot and content to see how the soup turned out.  I was confident and curious to see how my training had been going - this would be a  good test.

HOLY COW.  I've been racing 50K's for 6 seasons and always struggled to crack the 6 hour mark.  I've chipped away a few minutes here or there, largely dependent on how much climbing and gain there is in the course, but I haven't made any huge changes in my PR time in 6 years despite training really hard.

At Oxbow I knocked 36 MINUTES off my PR good enough for a F3/overall 20th finish in a race where the woman who won was F11 at Western States.  In any race under 100 miles 36 minutes is a HUGE jump for an experienced runner.  And to top it off, the next morning I felt AMAZING and did a 20K shakeout run to analyze WHY?  What the heck happened?

I have been more stressed, more fatigued, and less focused during this season than during any other.  I shouldn't be running well, it just doesn't make sense. Why am I finding myself feeling light, strong and powerful while running with (almost) endless energy to spare? As my legs and my mind woke up about 6 miles into my shakeout run, I came to a simple conclusion:

I was running lighter and cleaner in every way.

This was happening chiefly in two ways: physically and mentally/emotionally/spiritually.  Physically as much as I resented and resisted my anaphylactic reactions during running, they were the catalyst to drive me to change my diet. I have been gluten/dairy/egg free for 6 months and have never felt better. See my next post for more details on what I think is the largest factor in my recent improvement in performance.

Mentally, emotionally and spiritually I have also shed some serious baggage and genuinely let it go - surrendered to the path the universe and God have for me.  This has been the most liberating thing in the world and I know it's a factor in my performance.  The body and the mind are so connected and when you start to guard your energy from flowing out to the wrong places and open the floodgates to the energy of the universe flowing in, great things can happen.  See this post for more thoughts on this. (coming soon)

For now I am very very happy, celebrating that my training is on point, confident in my plans for the next training block, and excited to see what the future holds for me.  Bring it on!

Bounce Strong,
Kim

How To Not Feel Horrible After Your Long Run

I've been doing this ultra running thing for 5 years now as a full-time working mom and wife.  Over time, I have gotten nonchalant about my pre and post run personal management, especially when it comes to my long and back to back (to back) long runs.  This results in often feeling less than stellar the rest of the day or for a full weekend.  As ultra runners, we train ourselves to just power through.  To ignore the fatigue and pain and keep going. After a long run, I often come home exhausted, rarely eat enough or hydrate enough, and just power through - immediately starting to cook lunch or going for a bike ride with the family, or tackling the weeds in the yard.  Lately I have been feeling decidedly suboptimal, especially on Sunday afternoons, enough that this weekend I decided it was time to make some changes.

There are things I know about pre-run prep and post-run recovery, yet I can fully admit that I often skip steps because I simply do not have or make time for them.  I'm training for the Canadian Death Race, and this weekend I had a B2B2B planned for a total of 100k in 48 hours with at least 1500m of climbing in the last run - which in Manitoba is not convenient.  It has been extremely hot and humid here, and I started my first run on Friday afternoon after work at 2:00pm.  It was 33 degrees with stupid sauna-like humidity.  Within 2 hours I was severely dehydrated despite drinking copious amounts of water, and dragged myself home 3.5 hours later rather useless to my family.  It took 5 hours to properly rehydrate and as I sat there sipping on electrolyte solution feeling like s*$t I decided enough was enough.  If I was going to get through this weekend and come out on the other side a functional human being, I needed to get my act together.

Fast forward to today.  Less than forty-eight hours later I feel GREAT. Great enough that I had to reflect on WTH I did differently this weekend and how I turned it around so well.   Here is what I came up with.


10 Keys to Feeling Great After Your Long Run

1) Pretend you are an elite athlete.  I recently read 'Let Your Mind Run' by Michelle Hamilton and Deena Kastor.  It was Deena's memoir and is a great book.  She was the first female sub-2:20 marathoner in the US, and a multiple Olympian who won the bronze medal in the marathon in Athens in 2004.  She describes her daily routines and as I listened to her book (in audio) the stark contrast of her routine to mine stood out.  #motherrunners such as myself sometimes like to think we are superhero elite athletes, and we hold ourself to impossibly high standards.  Reality check: I am NOT an elite athlete (or I wouldn't take so long to get my miles in), but I can gain some wisdom from them at least for a weekend of high volume training.

2) Nap.  Elite athletes often run twice a day and napping in the middle of the day is essential.  So yesterday I had a 2 hour nap.  It was awesome.

3) Sit down and be still.  I rarely sit down. Ever.  This weekend I forced myself to sit down as much as possible.  When I wasn't running, I was sitting with my feet up - reading, watching the kids in the pool, laying in the pool, watching movies and playing games.  We cleared the schedule and we all just relaxed.  This sounds elementary, but it rarely happens in our family.  Relaxation is an art and I am not a great artist.

4) Go to bed early.  Getting as much sleep as possible when training heavily makes a HUGE difference.  Last night it meant going to bed at 8:30 for a 4am wake-up call, but recovery is part of training and sleep is the most saturated form of recovery you can get.

5) Compression.  It was hot. It wasn't fashionable (unless also wearing a trucker hat).  I embarrassed my kids...but I wore my compression socks all weekend.

6) Do Not Get Dehydrated or Depleted. Rather than just throwing some water and my bag of bars and gels into my car, I took extra time last night to prepare for my longest run today.  I was NOT going to be dehydrated, over-heated or bonk and spend the rest of the day catching up. I froze my bladder and water bottles 1/2 full of water to ensure a cold supply.  I packed a cooler filled with ice, extra water and my Icefil arm sleeves, took a huge bag of running fuel, and stuck to my fueling schedule. Even though it was cloudy, in addition to pre-hydrating I still drank 5 litres of water and electrolyte drink during/after my 6 hour run this morning and used another litre to wash off any potential poison ivy.  Even through I could barely carry my bags to my car this morning, I was prepared and so thankful I had brought enough!

7) Tailwind.  I have been experimenting with different liquid fueling options, and have not been using Tailwind for the past 6 weeks.  I've missed it.  Yesterday I found some left-over product and used it today.  Not sure if this was a key difference, but I felt AWESOME during my run and after.  Back to Tailwind it is for me!

8) Eat: 15-30 Min Window. You need to eat a ratio of 4:1 carbs:protein within 15-30 min of finishing your run when your insulin sensitivity is at it's highest.  I know that.  My dietitian has even given me specific suggestions.  Sadly, I often do not do it after my long run because I am far away from civilization and I neglect to pack a good post run meal.  Ya I know - not great. Today on my way home from Birch I stopped at Syl's and stuffed myself.  All that awesome food went straight into my muscles, and I could feel it almost immediately!

9) Eat: Enough.  When endurance training, it's super important to eat enough high quality nutrient dense food.  I never let myself get hungry all weekend and I know it paid off.

10) Handsome Awesome Husband.  Last but certainly not least, it helps to have an amazing partner around.  I'm fortunate it's BBQ season and my husband loves to BBQ, because he cooked a lot this weekend.  I am definitely a lucky girl and have loads of gratitude for my DH - even when he feeds me moose steaks.

I am not sure which of the above things made the most difference, but I can tell you that I felt amazing all day despite logging crazy mileage this week in the heat.  If I had to choose, I'd say it was the sleep and sitting down more that made the most difference.

Despite what we become accustomed to tolerating, endurance training should not leave us "normal people" feeling wrecked every weekend.  This is especially true mid-season when we already have a solid base.  I've recommitted to following some simple rules to ensure that my hobby enhances rather than limits the rest of my life.

If you don't want to be a compression sock wearing zombie on Sunday afternoons, change something.  There is a better way.

The Art of the Dance

Sharing again...because this pic says everything I'm about to write here, and more....PC: Sarah Seads

You can take a girl out of the mountains, but you can't take the mountains out of the girl. As the days get shorter and colder here in central Canada, I again struggle to find my running mojo while running in a very flat and soon to be cold place. There are many advantages to running here.  Leg speed.  Temperature fluctuations. Wind resistance.  Great people.  However, I find myself revisiting memories of great runs past even as I already start to plan for 2017 ~ plan for runs in the mountains.  Why do I continually feel pull back to the mountains?

Trail running.  Mountain running. Dancing.

When I first moved off the roads and started running mountain trails on Vancouver Island, I simply couldn't believe that people actually RAN up the trails my friends were taking me on.  Every run burst my lungs, left me with burning quads, and a deep sense of inferiority as the mountain won battle after battle.  I entered trail races with names like "GutBuster" and "Perseverance Trail Run," continually pushing to succeed at running gnarly mountain terrain.  It was work, it was hard.  I was young, tough, and determined.  I grew to tolerate it.  Even got good at it, earning a few podium finishes. But I still didn't really like mountain running.

But it wasn't until I stopped pushing, and started working WITH the mountain that I fell in love with it.  When I read back over things I've written about my best days running, dance metaphor keeps popping up over and over.  From a woman's perspective, a great dance partner leads you confidently.  You can relax and flow with the dance as you match your partner step for step, perfectly in sync.  When you and your partner apply just the right pressure against each other, you move as one to create a beautiful picture of human movement (which is much easier said than done.)

I'd like to suggest that trail and/or mountain running well executed is the exact same thing.  The mountain is your partner, and you need to work together.  As I talk with my running friends and the athletes that I coach, often hill training is met with dread, and races with lots of elevation create anxiety.

Learning to climb in Squamish, BC:
A perfect example of needing to work with the mountain rather than against it

I have watched so many people attack a climb as if they have to beat it into submission, or lean way too far back on their heels on a descent, fighting the pull of gravity down the mountain.  If you push too hard against that climb, it will push back.  If you resist the pull too much as you descend, it will pull harder. If you commit too heavily to a step that isn't quite right on a gnarly trail, it will drag you down.  You need to match your partner step for step, reacting quickly to stay in sync as the path leads you along.  If you don't start dancing the dance the ground wants you to, you'll either blow up on a climb, trash your quads on a descent, or trip and fall.  Not enjoyable.  Not pretty.  Definitely not art.

One of my favourite joy runs of the year - Cumberland Community Forest

But when you fall into step with the mountain trail and let it lead you, the dance becomes easy and the thing becomes a part of you. Kilian Jornet, arguably one of the world's greatest mountain runners, recently posted this video as a perfect example of what I'm talking about.  It wasn't until I grasped this delicate piece of the equation that I started to truly enjoy and eventually fall in love with mountain trail running.  Mountains, hills, trails - these are things not to be conquered, or attacked.  They are to be flirted with, and they are continually inviting you to dance.  And if you accept, I challenge you to join together with nature to make each run an artful masterpiece of fluid motion.  Not a painful picture of warriors clashing as they battle to the death.  Then that summit will be shared and appreciated as much as it was earned. And it'll have you coming back for more.

Now go out and find somewhere to dance.

An Ultra Runners Guide to Appearing Normal

(on that rare occasion when you want to)

Ultra Runners are used to being called crazy.  We are used to smelling like sweaty poly-pro and can spot a fellow ultra runner from miles away from the pack and high socks.  We proudly sport our trucker hats and can talk endlessly about our bucket list races and the features of our watches. However, on occasion the need might present itself to not sound annoying or crazy (or at least tone it down a little).  Like when attending a wedding.  Or on a date night.

So here are some things ultra runners can to do fit in a little better in a crowd. At least for a few hours.

1) Take off your Garmin. As much as you think it looks good, it may not go well with your cocktail dress or suit, and will be the surest sign of your true identity.

2) Replace said Garmin with a wide bangle or a watch not made of plastic to hide the tan line on your wrist.

3) Wear shoes that cover your toes.  Lost toe nails are a badge of honour for ultra runners, but look kinda gross to most other people.

4) Get a hair cut. Ladies, shave below your knees when you take off your high socks. Men, trim that beard.

5) Learn to cough or laugh loudly when your stomach grumbles.  You might need to laugh a lot, so hang around funny people.

6) Learn to hide how much and how often you eat.  There are many ways to do this. Hide food in your bag and sneak to the bathroom.  Eat super fast so that you can have seconds before anyone else finishes or notices. Hide extra roast beef and potatoes under a pile of salad. Better yet, eat before you go out.  Then your stomach won't grumble and you can have a second supper at a relaxed pace.

7) Girls. trade your bikini bottoms for board shorts or a swim skirt to hide your shorts tan lines.  Guys, run shirtless once in a while to avoid the farmers tan.

8) At least once per week, listen to the news and read movie reviews so that you can pretend that you are knowledgeable about something other than running (even though you don't care).

9) Stop talking about running.  And when asked how long you are running tomorrow, learn to either lie, or mean it when you say you are "just doing a short relaxing run" when you are really planning 20 miles.

10) Buy at least one outfit that is not poly-pro or merino wool.  And don't run in it.

An Ultra Runners Guide to Appearing Normal

(on that rare occasion when you want to)

Ultra Runners are used to being called crazy.  We are used to smelling like sweaty poly-pro and can spot a fellow ultra runner from miles away from the pack and high socks.  We proudly sport our trucker hats and can talk endlessly about our bucket list races and the features of our watches. However, on occasion the need might present itself to not sound annoying or crazy (or at least tone it down a little).  Like when attending a wedding.  Or on a date night.

So here are some things ultra runners can to do fit in a little better in a crowd. At least for a few hours.

1) Take off your Garmin. As much as you think it looks good, it may not go well with your cocktail dress or suit, and will be the surest sign of your true identity.

2) Replace said Garmin with a wide bangle or a watch not made of plastic to hide the tan line on your wrist.

3) Wear shoes that cover your toes.  Lost toe nails are a badge of honour for ultra runners, but look kinda gross to most other people.

4) Get a hair cut. Ladies, shave below your knees when you take off your high socks. Men, trim that beard.

5) Learn to cough or laugh loudly when your stomach grumbles.  You might need to laugh a lot, so hang around funny people.

6) Learn to hide how much and how often you eat.  There are many ways to do this. Hide food in your bag and sneak to the bathroom.  Eat super fast so that you can have seconds before anyone else finishes or notices. Hide extra roast beef and potatoes under a pile of salad.

7) Girls. trade your bikini bottoms for board shorts or a swim skirt to hide your shorts tan lines.  Guys, run shirtless once in a while to avoid the farmers tan.

8) At least once per week, listen to the news and read movie reviews so that you can pretend that you are knowledgeable about something other than running (even though you don't care).

9) Stop talking about running.  And when asked how long you are running tomorrow, learn to either lie, or mean it when you say you are "just doing a short relaxing run" when you are really planning 20 miles.

10) Buy at least one outfit that is not poly-pro or merino wool.  And don't run in it.

Fat Dog 120 - The Interlude

I can't believe its been nearly 2 months since I last posted!  Over the last 2 months I've basically been healing and recovering from the Grand Canyon 50 and did a hard training brick that had me peaking for the Fat Dog 70 this weekend.

My time spent on Vancouver Island the week after the Grand Canyon 50 was sublime.  It restored my soul and I was in a high from a race that left me with the endorphin kick of a lifetime.  Unfortunately, I felt so good that I overestimated my body's capacity and succeeded in mildly spraining my ankle during a run that week.  It didn't seem painful at all in the first several days, but obviously my body was stressed and didn't do well with more stress.  A little over and up on a root that I normally don't even think about turned into a painful lateral ankle sprain that took me over 4 weeks to recover from. With advice from my training partner and more patience than I am known to have,  I cut back on my mileage and allowed it to heal.

By the time I felt ready to tackle some big miles again, I had 3 weeks left for a hard block of training before I knew I would need to start tapering again for Fat Dog 70.  I did another napkin plan (see Self Doubt 2015) and got to work.

Riding Mountain - Kinosao Lake

I had booked a campsite at Riding Mountain National Park in January for the Canada Day weekend.  I had been told that if I wanted some elevation and good trails, that was the place to go in Manitoba.  So I told my family that we were going camping.  It was really a running trip disguised as a camping trip, but we didn't focus on that and instead focused on the great beach time, lol. I managed to get 40 (early) miles in that weekend with some nice climbing as well.  Riding Mountain is definitely a place we will be visiting again.

Wolf Print?

Riding Mountain - Whirlpool Lake

Over the past 3 weeks I have watched a LOT of sunrises and ran with my shadow for many miles.  I have glistened in the misty dew of hot humid mornings, and pounded out countless repeats on a short hill that gives me 2500' of gain over 5 miles in 120' increments.  I have slept in until 6:00am, and risen as early as 4:30 am, with 5:30 being average.  So average that I now wake at 4:45 thinking I slept in.

I have lost another few toe nails and made peace with my ugly feet.  And I have been systematically fine tuning my pack with the all the mandatory gear that we are required to carry for Fat Dog.  I'm thinking I'll be carrying a 10 pound pack with all water bottles full.  And I've been training with that and it's been taking it's toll.

So now is the time to start the most important part of the training process.  The recovery.  Letting all that stress on my system turn into strength.  Cell by cell, fiber by fiber, I am now rebuilding.  Stronger connective tissue.  Stronger muscles.  Stronger heart.  Stronger mind.  The work is done.  Time to let the magic happen.

Fat Dog will be my biggest test to date.  It's happening in the mountains that I can't wait to return to.  When I crest that first big climb, my mantra will echo Scott Jurek's, "this is what you came for."

4 weeks and counting!!!

Mission: Boredom

One week out from GC50.  I usually do a 4 week taper, this time I decided 3 weeks was enough.  Honestly, I'm starting to think I made a mistake.

I'm tired.  Very tired.

Sure I've been tapering with my running, but in the rest of my life things have ramped up something serious.  Squeezing last minute patients into a work day that's already packed solid with time on feet, cooking and freezing extra food at home (time on feet in kitchen), getting some quality time with the family (we try to make it active meaning time on feet), tying up all those loose ends.  By the end of the day my feet are still tired and suddenly getting my coveted 8 hours of sleep a night seems more difficult that running 50K.  Even sitting down needs to be scheduled.  I am more tired now than I was at the end of my peak week which is not exactly good.

I'm now a dual citizen..still a Team ELMer!

I've recognized for a long time that recovery is just as important as training.  So I've been tracking my hours of sleep for the past several weeks.  Upon looking back, until last Sunday (Mother's Day) it had been 6 weeks since I had slept in later than 5:30 often getting up much earlier.  I need to get to bed by 9:30 in order to get my 8 hours of sleep.  Doesn't happen often. I've been averaging 6.75 hours which is simply not enough.

I admit I'm liking that fact I don't have a long run in the morning this week: and I'm tired of being that person...

So, my goal for the next week is to get SLEEP.  And to sit down more.  Without feeling guilty or worrying about what isn't getting done.  This week my mission is to feel bored.  If that's even possible. Because one week from tomorrow morning, I want to be a tightly wound spring..ready to be sprung.

I will seeing the Grand Canyon - for the first time - on foot.  #can'tfreakingwait

Next post: GC50 Race Report!

Oh, and thanks to all who have voted for me for the Salming Ambassador Contest.  If you haven't, or you have another email address you can use, please vote again!  I love their shoes and would love to represent.

Cheering on my friends at the Spruce Woods Ultra last weekend. This sign was for my friend Todd who somehow managed to place 2nd in the 100K event despite his horrible attitude and complete lack of training. (wink wink)

Fitting It All In Part 3

even when we feel weak...

Back in 2014 I posted Fitting It All In Part 1 and Part 2.  Now, 2 years later, I am thinking about those  posts again and struggling to piece the puzzle together.  This week-end was my 2nd to last long back-to-back week before the Grand Canyon Ultra 50 Miler.  It was a very stressful week at work, and it was also my oldest son's birthday today.

Friday morning I woke up mentally at my max.  I had had a hard week of work and a hard week of training. When my first thought out of bed was wondering how long it would be before I could get back into my PJs...I knew I was in trouble.  I am a physiotherapist and I LOVE what I do.  I love people and I love helping them.  But Friday morning I didn't have much left in my tank to give to anyone.  My energy levels were at an all time low, and I knew that in order to fit all I needed to into the weekend (including 58K of running), I would need to NOT fit it all in.  I need to draw the line somewhere.

Increasingly over the last year, I have found myself engaging more and more in social media and in digital conversations.  It's easy to let constant chatter and enduring conversations hijack your day.  I also engage with dozens of people every day on a very personal and sometimes deep level at work.  I usually thrive on this, but by the end of this week, I needed a break.  I felt like I was a negative magnet and everything else was another negative magnet and the closer life tried to get to me, the harder I pushed away. It was almost that palpable.

I knew that in order to protect my mental health and the integrity of my family unit (while getting my mileage in), I would need to shut it all off.  I let those closest to me know I was going offline, and I shut my phone down for the weekend. It seemed like such a simple thing, but such a big thing too. I needed to check out and run alone...away from the city and the noise.  I needed the sound of silence.  I ran at very odd hours.  I also knew that I would need to be very present and engaged with my family during the waking hours of the day, and with no phone to distract me, it was a lot easier.  I got my 58K in, and was there to make my son his birthday brunch this morning in addition to spending the day with him.  I lost some sleep, but am strangely now recharged and ready to take on the next week of training, and healing.

Five weeks until the Grand Canyon Ultra!  It had better not snow this year...I need a vacation.

Reframing: Turning Excuses into Reasons Why

What a great week of running!  This was a down week for me, which meant easy shorter runs to allow my body to absorb all the training of the last few weeks and rebuild stronger for the weeks ahead.  I honestly didn't feel the need for recovery this week though - I have been feeling great and am finding my pace is picking up nicely now that the paths are dry and I'm not wearing 10 lbs of clothing with each run!

Several things have made me pause to think over the past few days. Today was the Comox Valley Half Marathon, a race that I have done many years since 2005, with the exception of the years that I was 8.9 months pregnant.  I missed being there this year, seeing familiar faces and running a very familiar route that I hold my 1/2 PR on.

CV1/2 - 2006

CV 1/2 - 2014

After my run this morning, RunKeeper told me that I had just finished my 800th run since I first started keeping track in March of 2012.  I have recorded 5, 045 miles of running since that time, and have run many more miles that I haven't recorded.  It amazes me how it all adds up over time, and it amazes me even more that I haven't gotten sick of running yet.  The more I run, the more I want to run, and the more grateful I am that I can.

When I was 15, my brother (age 13) had a tragic dirt bike accident, which left him with a complete spinal cord injury below T4, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, fractured ribs, humerus, femur, and spine.  He came very close to not making it, and had a very long recovery.  A few weeks after his accident I began try-outs for an acrobatic gymnastics team that I had dreamed about joining for most of my adolescent and teenage years. I trained hard - very hard, and after the month of try-outs was over I found out I had made the team.  Instead of celebrating, I remember feeling so very guilty.  My brother was in a hospital bed and couldn't even wiggle his big toe, and I was being given the opportunity to learn to perform in ways I had only dreamed possible.

I remember speaking with him on the phone one day in the fall of 1992.  I don't remember our exact words, but in essence I had expressed my hesitation at joining the team because I was feeling guilty that he was so sick and I was training so hard.  He told me that I should not use him as an excuse - that I should use his disability as my REASON.  I don't know if he knew the impact of his words that day, but I still draw on the strength and wisdom he exhibited during that conversation, and in the challenge that he gave me that day.  To be grateful for my physical abilities and health, and to honour them as the reason for staying active.  Now I feel shame for NOT being active regularly - because there are so many people that can't be.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

My brother and I, having fun with my Jeep (2005)

On Friday I gave a short presentation to a group of teachers about self care from a physiotherapy perspective as part of their Wellness Inservice Day activities.  During that talk, I spoke about the reasons we should take care of our physical health and exercise, as well as the reasons why we don't.  As I spoke, I realized I was turning all the reasons we brainstormed as barriers to wellness into reasons why we should take the time for self care.

Two salesmen were sent to Africa to sell shoes.  One said, "what a horrible idea, no one here wears shoes."  The other said, "what a great opportunity, no one here wears shoes!"

Do you have excuses that you can reframe to motivate you?  If you don't have energy to exercise, do it because it gives you more energy.  I am often asked how I can possibly have so much energy seeing as I run so much.  I reply that it is because I run so much that I have so much energy. If you don't have time to exercise, do it because the increased focus and concentration you gain improves efficiency which creates more time in your day.  If you have pain that makes it hard to exercise, do it in a modified way to strengthen and lengthen your body to decrease the pain.  If you are self conscious about your body, do it so that you gain self-esteem and can have pride in yourself and your accomplishments.  Even those who can't do very much often push themselves to do what they can and celebrate even the tiniest of accomplishments.  These people are my heroes.

I spend a lot of time examining my WHY. I can list dozens of reasons why I run, and these have evolved over time. But the fundamental reason, the foundation that all the others are built on, is simply that I can.  I learned very young that one should NEVER take health for granted, and to waste the gift is...a waste.

NB: My brother is now a successful financial analyst and business executive for TAQA oil in Abu Dhabi.  He has not let his disability limit his potential.  He struggles with unimaginable pain and physical challenges every single day, but he presses on, never using his disability as an excuse.  He is and will always be my biggest hero.

And Then You Bounce...

In my last post, I shared the reality that sometimes things can get low in ultra running - even while training.  In blogs and on social media, it's easy to only post stuff about the great runs and the great days. But that would be deceitful.  The reality of the ultra running sport is that there are bad days and low points.  Ultra runners are very good at minimizing those lows and powering through them, but they do exist.  Interestingly enough, at almost the same time that I was dipping down into the doldrums last week, my old training partner Sarah was having her own struggles a half a continent away.  She posted this blog post this week about how to overcome mental struggles and low motivation while ultra training. I can't help but share, because as always she's a brilliant writer and precisely nails it.  I chuckle to myself as I remember her yelling at me during the Miwok 100 - "Just Pretend!!!!" as she sailed away while I was decompensating under a giant redwood tree looking for my lost cell phone.  Ahhh....the memories.

A week later, spring has arrived in earnest and I have bounced back.  Life is still stressful, full of family commitments and juggling priorities.  But I had a great run today with the company of several friends along the way and am feeling my running mojo return.

After I arrived home after my run, my husband pointed out that the Barkley Marathons documentary was on Netflix!  Yippee!  I have been wanting to see it, but have only seen it advertised at select screenings so far.  I just finished it.  What a race.  When one is feeling the need for a pity party...watch this film.

A race that's supposed to be 100 miles, but is actually 130 miles with 60,000' of elevation gain according to the racers.  Since the race began in 1986, only 14 runners out of about 1000 have finished within the 60 hour cutoff.

This is a race that has fascinated me since I first heard about it early in the days when I was contemplating this ultra running thing.  I had listened to a podcast with Dr. David Horton, as he talked about the race.  He was the second finisher.  Later, I heard Nickademus Hollon tell his story about the race, attempting it for the first time in 2012, then finishing in 2013 at age 22.  And now Gary Robbins has received his condolence letter and is training for Barkley.  Check out his training video of covering 20,000' in 31 miles here.  He's the one I'm following for 2016... I will be cheering you on Gary!

A quote in the movie from the race founder Gary Cantrell really stuck in my mind, "People have their own concepts of success and failure, - they are really not concerned about how other people evaluate their performance.  They make their own judgements."  I think this is something that exists in all sport, but also uniquely defines endurance athletes including ultra runners.  Ultimately, it's up to us to decide in our own minds whether we are going to bounce, or stay down; whether we are going to succeed or fail.  We all have own own ideas of how that is defined, each day, each week, each race. The people that keep going are the ones who are constantly adjusting their paradigms, their attitudes, and turning failures into successes.

The laws of physics and momentum can apply to the mind as well as the physical world - what goes down can also come back up with equal energy. I have practice this art over and over again, but I finished this week with a renewed resolution to BOUNCE.

Not Always Unicorns and Rainbows

I was looking forward to today all week. as it was forecasted to really warm up. I am very ready for spring, as it has usually already arrived by now on Vancouver Island, where I've spent the last 15 years.  March means short sleeve runs and salt tabs, sometimes rain, but temps between 10C and 15C.  Here in Manitoba...not yet.

After freezing my buns off running earlier this week, I went to bed last night battling a sore throat.  I prayed that I would wake a new person.  Instead I woke to the sounds of my husband vomiting and dry heaving in the bathroom all night long.  My kids have been ok, but complaining of no appetite and belly aches, so when my alarm when off at 6:00am this morning, I questioned the soundness of my judgement in running today.  But running Sunday mornings is never an option - it's a part of  life. So I got up, tiptoed around making coffee and drinking water and UCan.  My tummy rumbled, but I told myself it was psychosomatic.  My throat was sore...but no one ever died of a sore throat.

I made breakfast for the kids and left a lovely arrangement of fruit and cereal on the breakfast bar.  I decided I would race out to the trail, run as fast and efficiently as I could, and hopefully be home before anyone else got sick, including myself.  Before I left the house, I told my husband in his feverish state that he could call or text anytime and then proceeded to escape his germs, feeling equally relieved at the chance to get some fresh air, and intensely guilty for leaving the kids to fend for themselves with a very sick papa.

I got to the trail head just after 7:00am.  I was the first one there.  It was quiet, warm and peaceful.  I quickly adjusted my clothing for the 1C temps and took off on my 33K run.  It was so mild.  The sun came up, I said good morning to "my" deer that I always see 2-3.5K into the run.  But my legs felt heavy and so did my heart.  I waited with dread for that text that one of my children was sick, or that my husband wasn't coping so well.

What was I out here for?  I felt like a really sh*&tty mom, and an even worse wife.  I know I needed to log the miles.  But did I have my priorities in check?  Earlier this week, my boss sent me a quote, "Running because it makes me a better version of myself," and then later I posted on FB, "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own."  Hmmm.  I slogged around the Bur Oak trail in the morning sun/deep snow questioning my WHY.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't help but wonder...  Was my running making me a better person?  Did my running set a good example to my kids?  Were my running priorities balanced with my family priorities?  Fundamentally I could say yes.  I really strive to make sure my personal running goals don't take away from family time, often getting up REALLY early to get my runs in. I never want my kids or my husband to resent my running.  And I can proudly say that my son loves to run with mommy.   But today....I sure felt like I was failing them all by leaving my kids with a sick husband while I left the house for 5 hours.

So I ran as hard as I could...which wasn't fast considering I wasn't feeling so well myself.  I waved hello at friends on the trail, not stopping to chat lest I lose my resolve to complete the miles, or even worse - start vomiting on the trail myself.  I spent our first sunny spring-like run day running with a "lets go to work and get this done" mentally.  What a shame!

I just finished the book, Out There, by Dave Clark.  In his book, he truly opens himself up and exposes his very intense personal struggles with addiction and then his recovery through ultra marathon running. I'm posting this today to put myself 'out there'...to once again highlight that ultra running is not always unicorns and rainbows, as my friend Sarah says. It can be hard! Sometimes it's a slog in heinous weather, through gnarly terrain, or done while battling indigestion and tummy upset.  And sometimes our training happens in perfectly sunny spring-like conditions in which everyone else is celebrating - but the mind and the conscience become the battleground.

I am happy to say I finished my run, and made it home in time to spend an awesome afternoon with my kids while my husband recovered.  Today, the rainbows came after the run.

Adaptability

"A lot of people talk about expecting the best but preparing for the worst, but I think that's a seductively misleading concept. There's never just one "worst."  Almost always there's a whole spectrum of bad possibilities. The only thing that would really qualify as the worst would be not having a plan for how to cope." Chris Hadfield, An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth

This week I've been thinking a lot about adaptability.  It's mentioned a lot in places like URP podcasts, that ultrarunners have one essential characteristic in common: we are adaptable.  We have to be.  Nothing EVER goes exactly according to plan, especially when your plan can cover several hours and kilometers of time and space, not to mention months and months of training.

Our long run Friday was supposed to be another building week - over 6 hours, 45km with 30km the day before or after.  But things got in the way.  Sarah's body was telling her it was time to back off, so she texted the night before asking me if we could drop down to 3 hours.  I agreed.  Even though I was game for a 6 hour run, I was exhausted from getting the house ready to list and a sick child home from school.  Thurs I had gotten up at 4:45 to run 16K before work, then other 5K that night with the ELM 10K Clinic.  Then that night, my other child woke at 2:00am vomiting.  Needless to say, but the time 5:45 Friday morning rolled around, I was just getting back to sleep rather than leaving the house for a 6:00am long run start as originally planned.

At 7:30 we met at the trail head.  Our original plan had called for more drop down weeks, which left some flex for days like this.  Thank goodness.  We took our time, running some flat miles along the river, then climbing before descending to the bluffs on Goat's Head for this great picture.  It was a lazy, sunny, perfect run day. And we did not feel guilty in the least.

I've learned that when training for a 100K race, you MUST be able to adapt.  Adapt your schedule, adapt your fuel, adapt your mindset.  Injuries. Job stress. Illness. Birthday parties. Vacations.  Life gets in the way.  The only way to succeed at ultrarunning as a working wife and mom is to weave my training into the rest of my life, while having a plan for how to cope. Thanks for the perspective Chris.

Cougar!

Today a LONG run was on the schedule, and it was my son's 5th birthday party this afternoon.  So Sarah and I start at the crack of dawn at 7:00.  As we trotted along the river and started our climb UP, I was thinking about what I might blog about today, as I seem to be running out of great commentary.  Then, around 8:00 as we were climbing up to our first summit of the day along Branch 21, we saw...our first COUGAR ever!  I saw it first and thought it was a deer.  Then I thought, "Oh, that's some kind of wild dog!", and as I look over Sarah is pumping her first in the air and shouting "YA! It's a cougar!"  Hmm.  Not my first reaction.  It was definitely a small cougar though, with a white belly and a really long tail that looked something like this pic.  Luckily it was scared of us and ran into the forest about 200m ahead of us. Needless to say, Sarah checked her GPS and we had reached our goal for that climb and turned around to scamper out of there.  I'm glad I was with her and the kitty cat was keeping his distance!

Despite the pouring rain of the last 2 days, this morning dawned with dry skies (not dry ground) and a little sun.  We changed socks 2 hours into the run which was like a little slice of heaven.  I've never done that before and I will sure carry an extra pair now.  I also experimented with different food today.  I tried potatoes with olive oil and salt, steamed and then broiled.  Wow.  They hit the spot perfectly, although they took a little while to reach my blood stream. I also tried Oskri bars for the first time...lots of coconut that made my tummy squirrely after 4 hours, but good nonetheless.

Just after cougar siting.

Since I had a time limit due to my son's birthday party and this was the first time we added elevation to the long run, we only did 33K again rather than the 36 planned, but time of feet was a full hour longer than my previous longest run.  So recovery was super important if I was going to be functional as a mom this afternoon.  My epsom salts and compression socks came through again!

Some of the rain run off from the last few days!

Total Distance: 33.14
 Time: 4:21
 Fuel: 2 Oskri bars, 4 Mejool Dates, 1 cup potatoes (895 calories)
Notes on Fuel: worked pretty well, the coconut pineapple Oskri bar is best saved for post-run as it's heavier and hard to get down, the potatoes were a definite repeat item
Post run recovery: I actually gained 1.5 lbs this run but no symptoms of hyponatremia, and felt ok due to better fueling mid run, so the recovery routine worked well but my legs are pretty tired.
Plans for next week: Keep checking those runs off!
Gratitude: Cougars that keep their distance, and dry skies this morning!