Fitting It All In Part 3

even when we feel weak...

Back in 2014 I posted Fitting It All In Part 1 and Part 2.  Now, 2 years later, I am thinking about those  posts again and struggling to piece the puzzle together.  This week-end was my 2nd to last long back-to-back week before the Grand Canyon Ultra 50 Miler.  It was a very stressful week at work, and it was also my oldest son's birthday today.

Friday morning I woke up mentally at my max.  I had had a hard week of work and a hard week of training. When my first thought out of bed was wondering how long it would be before I could get back into my PJs...I knew I was in trouble.  I am a physiotherapist and I LOVE what I do.  I love people and I love helping them.  But Friday morning I didn't have much left in my tank to give to anyone.  My energy levels were at an all time low, and I knew that in order to fit all I needed to into the weekend (including 58K of running), I would need to NOT fit it all in.  I need to draw the line somewhere.

Increasingly over the last year, I have found myself engaging more and more in social media and in digital conversations.  It's easy to let constant chatter and enduring conversations hijack your day.  I also engage with dozens of people every day on a very personal and sometimes deep level at work.  I usually thrive on this, but by the end of this week, I needed a break.  I felt like I was a negative magnet and everything else was another negative magnet and the closer life tried to get to me, the harder I pushed away. It was almost that palpable.

I knew that in order to protect my mental health and the integrity of my family unit (while getting my mileage in), I would need to shut it all off.  I let those closest to me know I was going offline, and I shut my phone down for the weekend. It seemed like such a simple thing, but such a big thing too. I needed to check out and run alone...away from the city and the noise.  I needed the sound of silence.  I ran at very odd hours.  I also knew that I would need to be very present and engaged with my family during the waking hours of the day, and with no phone to distract me, it was a lot easier.  I got my 58K in, and was there to make my son his birthday brunch this morning in addition to spending the day with him.  I lost some sleep, but am strangely now recharged and ready to take on the next week of training, and healing.

Five weeks until the Grand Canyon Ultra!  It had better not snow this year...I need a vacation.

Giving Back - Cancer Care Manitoba

Well, the runs are getting longer again and the races are getting closer. The Grand Canyon Ultra is only 6 weeks away and I have only 2 long runs left before my 50 mile race.  The Spruce Woods Ultra is 2 weeks before GCU and Todd Baranoski of Team Manitoba Dawgs is doing the 100K event.  After these races, our team will be focusing on the Fat Dog 120 and 70 mile events.

Scott Sugimoto, Todd Baranoski and myself will be travelling to Manning Park, BC for the Fat Dog 100 race Aug 12-14.  Scott and Todd will be running 120 miles and I will attempt the 70 mile distance.  We have been enjoying training, planning, dreaming and trying not to, but generally obsessing about this race since at least December.

Ultra running can be incredibly all consuming and self absorbing, so at one point Todd came up with this great idea to use our race efforts to give something back.  We are SO GRATEFUL and feel so fortunate to be able to run the way we do.  For brief periods of time when we are injured or feeling niggles that hint of injury, we freak out and can't imagine not being able to do what we do.  There are people who are fighting much bigger fights, more important battles, battling for life and death.

We are supporting Cancer Care Manitoba through our training and racing efforts.  We can't think of anyone who hasn't been touched by cancer. If you feel impressed, please visit our Team Page to donate in support of this worthy cause.  Consider donating per mile or any arbitrary amount  - every little but helps.  We hope to raise $5000 for Cancer Care.

Thank-you and Happy Trails!

JOURNEY TO “BETTER”- THE RESULTS FROM MY PERFORMANCE TESTS - Sally McRae

In my search for information on fitness testing, of course I happened upon Sally McRae's blog where she talks about her first testing experience.  I admire her so much, and can identify with many of her struggles:

I gave her a half joking half pouty, “Yes, I Walk Past Weights And They Jump Into My Thighs.”

Please read her post and enjoy!

VO2 Max and Lactate Threshold Testing

Last week I had my first VO2 max and blood lactate testing done at the Pan Am Clinic where I work.  I was so excited. Despite being able to do field tests and now having a ridiculously complex and expensive Garmin that predicts such numbers from heart rate and running data, blood lactate testing and actual VO2 max testing is still considered more accurate and the gold standard of measure for aerobic fitness. So I booked myself in!

I have some big goals for 2016 and although it's getting late in the season to be having such testing done, I really wanted a snapshot of my current aerobic fitness profile in order to train more specifically throughout the rest of the year.

What is VO2 max?  It is a value given to the maximal rate at which oxygen can be taken in, transported and utilized by working muscle.  The higher your VO2 max, the better is your ability to use oxygen during muscular work.  It is often expressed in the relative score (ml/kg/min).  This is important for athletes that must move their bodies against the force of gravity (runner, X-C skiers) and for comparing individuals of different body sizes.  The absolute (L/min) value is important for sports where body weight is supported (cycling, rowing) and is a value that is only meaningful to the individual - there is no point comparing this number to others.

Here is one example of a normative data chart.  There are many and they all vary slightly.

Here is another one:

Elite runners and athletes are reported to have VO2 max values in the 70s and 80s.  The world record is reportedly held by a cyclist from Noway named Oskar Svendsen (97.5).  There is debate as to how relevant VO2 max really is in predicting performance, as athletes with lesser scores can beat those with higher scores.  Hence the whole mind over matter debate...which is best saved for another post.


Lactate threshold (LT) is used to signify your anaerobic threshold which is the shift from the energy supply primarily from aerobic to anaerobic.  Blood lactate is a measure of the lactic acid that appears in the blood as a result of anaerobic metabolism when oxygen delivery to the tissues is insufficient to support normal metabolic demands. LT is indicated by the sudden rise in the lactate when the anaerobic energy system (without oxygen) becomes the primary contributor to exercise.
Athletes all want to stay out of the anaerobic zone as much as possible and having a high LT enables them to perform to a higher level without those dreaded burnings legs. Here is a great article on LT.

Here are some pictures of my testing:

Nose clamped, breathing into a tube, heart rate monitor on

It was hard to see where I was on the treadmill with all that gear - I kept bumping into the front

This is how the test worked: After I had changed and put on the heart rate monitor, I warmed up on the treadmill at a very easy pace for 15 min.  This allowed my heart rate to stabilize, as it spikes all over the place during the first 10-15 min of any run.  Then I put on the head gear, clamped my nose shut, sealed my lips around the mouth piece, and hopped back on the treadmill.  Dean pricked my finger and took a blood sample (in the same way as a diabetic will do a blood sugar test) to determine my baseline blood lactate.  Then I started running on the treadmill.  Every 3 minutes I hopped to the side to allow Dean to take another blood sample.  Then Richard bumped the speed up by 0.5 mph and I ran for another 3 min.  We repeated this cycle several times, while Dean monitored all sorts of information on his computer and reported the blood lactate levels to Richard.  We started at 5.5 mph and by the time we reached 8.0 mph I was starting to wonder when this test would be over.  After running at 8.5 mph for 3 min, my blood lactate finally jumped from the low 3 mmol/L to 4.8 mmol/L (if my memory is correct).  At this point, we had our LT reading, but I still needed my VO2 max scores.  Richard then started to increase the incline on the treadmill by 2% grade every minute, while I was still running at 8.5mph.  It didn't take me long, and after 2 min I called it quits at 4% grade. I'm not sure if I could have gone more, but I thought I was maxed at the time.

Richard and Dean

The whole test took about 45 min on the treadmill, and I had my results within another 15 min.  Dean and Richard were amazing and very good at explaining the whole process and interpreting my results.  I have debated as to whether I should share my results publicly, but I'm no elite athlete and this is a form of journal for me, so I will use my real numbers to help explain what it all means.

Absolute VO2 max: 3.4 L/min
Relative VO2 max: 53.1 ml/kg/min
Maximum heart rate: 184 bpm
Lactate threshold: 3.1 L/min
HR at LT: 172 bpm
LT as a % of VO2 max: 91%

Interestingly, Dean asked me what I thought my LT was before he told me.  He said that people who regularly monitor their HR can usually tell when they reach it just by the burn in their legs.  I told him 170-173 bpm.  I was bang on.  So what do these numbers mean to me?  Having a high LT as a % of VO2 max means that I can run almost to my max before my body shifts to anaerobic metabolism.  It could be better though, and my coach, Sarah Seads, suggests that I work on bringing my LT up to 95% of my VO2 max before I try to up my VO2 max.  How is all this done?  By using these numbers to determine your five training zones, which can done with online calculators, or by an experienced coach or exercise physiologist (Dean gave me my zones during my session).  Knowing your specific heart rate zones can help you train more intelligently and keep your easy runs truly easy, and your tempo or speed workouts truly effective.

Now, we'll see if all this knowledge pays off for me. Ultimately, it's up to me now to apply this information to my training.  Thanks Dean and Richard for a great testing experience!

Reframing: Turning Excuses into Reasons Why

What a great week of running!  This was a down week for me, which meant easy shorter runs to allow my body to absorb all the training of the last few weeks and rebuild stronger for the weeks ahead.  I honestly didn't feel the need for recovery this week though - I have been feeling great and am finding my pace is picking up nicely now that the paths are dry and I'm not wearing 10 lbs of clothing with each run!

Several things have made me pause to think over the past few days. Today was the Comox Valley Half Marathon, a race that I have done many years since 2005, with the exception of the years that I was 8.9 months pregnant.  I missed being there this year, seeing familiar faces and running a very familiar route that I hold my 1/2 PR on.

CV1/2 - 2006

CV 1/2 - 2014

After my run this morning, RunKeeper told me that I had just finished my 800th run since I first started keeping track in March of 2012.  I have recorded 5, 045 miles of running since that time, and have run many more miles that I haven't recorded.  It amazes me how it all adds up over time, and it amazes me even more that I haven't gotten sick of running yet.  The more I run, the more I want to run, and the more grateful I am that I can.

When I was 15, my brother (age 13) had a tragic dirt bike accident, which left him with a complete spinal cord injury below T4, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, fractured ribs, humerus, femur, and spine.  He came very close to not making it, and had a very long recovery.  A few weeks after his accident I began try-outs for an acrobatic gymnastics team that I had dreamed about joining for most of my adolescent and teenage years. I trained hard - very hard, and after the month of try-outs was over I found out I had made the team.  Instead of celebrating, I remember feeling so very guilty.  My brother was in a hospital bed and couldn't even wiggle his big toe, and I was being given the opportunity to learn to perform in ways I had only dreamed possible.

I remember speaking with him on the phone one day in the fall of 1992.  I don't remember our exact words, but in essence I had expressed my hesitation at joining the team because I was feeling guilty that he was so sick and I was training so hard.  He told me that I should not use him as an excuse - that I should use his disability as my REASON.  I don't know if he knew the impact of his words that day, but I still draw on the strength and wisdom he exhibited during that conversation, and in the challenge that he gave me that day.  To be grateful for my physical abilities and health, and to honour them as the reason for staying active.  Now I feel shame for NOT being active regularly - because there are so many people that can't be.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

My brother and I, having fun with my Jeep (2005)

On Friday I gave a short presentation to a group of teachers about self care from a physiotherapy perspective as part of their Wellness Inservice Day activities.  During that talk, I spoke about the reasons we should take care of our physical health and exercise, as well as the reasons why we don't.  As I spoke, I realized I was turning all the reasons we brainstormed as barriers to wellness into reasons why we should take the time for self care.

Two salesmen were sent to Africa to sell shoes.  One said, "what a horrible idea, no one here wears shoes."  The other said, "what a great opportunity, no one here wears shoes!"

Do you have excuses that you can reframe to motivate you?  If you don't have energy to exercise, do it because it gives you more energy.  I am often asked how I can possibly have so much energy seeing as I run so much.  I reply that it is because I run so much that I have so much energy. If you don't have time to exercise, do it because the increased focus and concentration you gain improves efficiency which creates more time in your day.  If you have pain that makes it hard to exercise, do it in a modified way to strengthen and lengthen your body to decrease the pain.  If you are self conscious about your body, do it so that you gain self-esteem and can have pride in yourself and your accomplishments.  Even those who can't do very much often push themselves to do what they can and celebrate even the tiniest of accomplishments.  These people are my heroes.

I spend a lot of time examining my WHY. I can list dozens of reasons why I run, and these have evolved over time. But the fundamental reason, the foundation that all the others are built on, is simply that I can.  I learned very young that one should NEVER take health for granted, and to waste the gift is...a waste.

NB: My brother is now a successful financial analyst and business executive for TAQA oil in Abu Dhabi.  He has not let his disability limit his potential.  He struggles with unimaginable pain and physical challenges every single day, but he presses on, never using his disability as an excuse.  He is and will always be my biggest hero.

And Then You Bounce...

In my last post, I shared the reality that sometimes things can get low in ultra running - even while training.  In blogs and on social media, it's easy to only post stuff about the great runs and the great days. But that would be deceitful.  The reality of the ultra running sport is that there are bad days and low points.  Ultra runners are very good at minimizing those lows and powering through them, but they do exist.  Interestingly enough, at almost the same time that I was dipping down into the doldrums last week, my old training partner Sarah was having her own struggles a half a continent away.  She posted this blog post this week about how to overcome mental struggles and low motivation while ultra training. I can't help but share, because as always she's a brilliant writer and precisely nails it.  I chuckle to myself as I remember her yelling at me during the Miwok 100 - "Just Pretend!!!!" as she sailed away while I was decompensating under a giant redwood tree looking for my lost cell phone.  Ahhh....the memories.

A week later, spring has arrived in earnest and I have bounced back.  Life is still stressful, full of family commitments and juggling priorities.  But I had a great run today with the company of several friends along the way and am feeling my running mojo return.

After I arrived home after my run, my husband pointed out that the Barkley Marathons documentary was on Netflix!  Yippee!  I have been wanting to see it, but have only seen it advertised at select screenings so far.  I just finished it.  What a race.  When one is feeling the need for a pity party...watch this film.

A race that's supposed to be 100 miles, but is actually 130 miles with 60,000' of elevation gain according to the racers.  Since the race began in 1986, only 14 runners out of about 1000 have finished within the 60 hour cutoff.

This is a race that has fascinated me since I first heard about it early in the days when I was contemplating this ultra running thing.  I had listened to a podcast with Dr. David Horton, as he talked about the race.  He was the second finisher.  Later, I heard Nickademus Hollon tell his story about the race, attempting it for the first time in 2012, then finishing in 2013 at age 22.  And now Gary Robbins has received his condolence letter and is training for Barkley.  Check out his training video of covering 20,000' in 31 miles here.  He's the one I'm following for 2016... I will be cheering you on Gary!

A quote in the movie from the race founder Gary Cantrell really stuck in my mind, "People have their own concepts of success and failure, - they are really not concerned about how other people evaluate their performance.  They make their own judgements."  I think this is something that exists in all sport, but also uniquely defines endurance athletes including ultra runners.  Ultimately, it's up to us to decide in our own minds whether we are going to bounce, or stay down; whether we are going to succeed or fail.  We all have own own ideas of how that is defined, each day, each week, each race. The people that keep going are the ones who are constantly adjusting their paradigms, their attitudes, and turning failures into successes.

The laws of physics and momentum can apply to the mind as well as the physical world - what goes down can also come back up with equal energy. I have practice this art over and over again, but I finished this week with a renewed resolution to BOUNCE.

Not Always Unicorns and Rainbows

I was looking forward to today all week. as it was forecasted to really warm up. I am very ready for spring, as it has usually already arrived by now on Vancouver Island, where I've spent the last 15 years.  March means short sleeve runs and salt tabs, sometimes rain, but temps between 10C and 15C.  Here in Manitoba...not yet.

After freezing my buns off running earlier this week, I went to bed last night battling a sore throat.  I prayed that I would wake a new person.  Instead I woke to the sounds of my husband vomiting and dry heaving in the bathroom all night long.  My kids have been ok, but complaining of no appetite and belly aches, so when my alarm when off at 6:00am this morning, I questioned the soundness of my judgement in running today.  But running Sunday mornings is never an option - it's a part of  life. So I got up, tiptoed around making coffee and drinking water and UCan.  My tummy rumbled, but I told myself it was psychosomatic.  My throat was sore...but no one ever died of a sore throat.

I made breakfast for the kids and left a lovely arrangement of fruit and cereal on the breakfast bar.  I decided I would race out to the trail, run as fast and efficiently as I could, and hopefully be home before anyone else got sick, including myself.  Before I left the house, I told my husband in his feverish state that he could call or text anytime and then proceeded to escape his germs, feeling equally relieved at the chance to get some fresh air, and intensely guilty for leaving the kids to fend for themselves with a very sick papa.

I got to the trail head just after 7:00am.  I was the first one there.  It was quiet, warm and peaceful.  I quickly adjusted my clothing for the 1C temps and took off on my 33K run.  It was so mild.  The sun came up, I said good morning to "my" deer that I always see 2-3.5K into the run.  But my legs felt heavy and so did my heart.  I waited with dread for that text that one of my children was sick, or that my husband wasn't coping so well.

What was I out here for?  I felt like a really sh*&tty mom, and an even worse wife.  I know I needed to log the miles.  But did I have my priorities in check?  Earlier this week, my boss sent me a quote, "Running because it makes me a better version of myself," and then later I posted on FB, "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own."  Hmmm.  I slogged around the Bur Oak trail in the morning sun/deep snow questioning my WHY.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't help but wonder...  Was my running making me a better person?  Did my running set a good example to my kids?  Were my running priorities balanced with my family priorities?  Fundamentally I could say yes.  I really strive to make sure my personal running goals don't take away from family time, often getting up REALLY early to get my runs in. I never want my kids or my husband to resent my running.  And I can proudly say that my son loves to run with mommy.   But today....I sure felt like I was failing them all by leaving my kids with a sick husband while I left the house for 5 hours.

So I ran as hard as I could...which wasn't fast considering I wasn't feeling so well myself.  I waved hello at friends on the trail, not stopping to chat lest I lose my resolve to complete the miles, or even worse - start vomiting on the trail myself.  I spent our first sunny spring-like run day running with a "lets go to work and get this done" mentally.  What a shame!

I just finished the book, Out There, by Dave Clark.  In his book, he truly opens himself up and exposes his very intense personal struggles with addiction and then his recovery through ultra marathon running. I'm posting this today to put myself 'out there'...to once again highlight that ultra running is not always unicorns and rainbows, as my friend Sarah says. It can be hard! Sometimes it's a slog in heinous weather, through gnarly terrain, or done while battling indigestion and tummy upset.  And sometimes our training happens in perfectly sunny spring-like conditions in which everyone else is celebrating - but the mind and the conscience become the battleground.

I am happy to say I finished my run, and made it home in time to spend an awesome afternoon with my kids while my husband recovered.  Today, the rainbows came after the run.